I feel so bad for my brothers boy grown kids when they have to call me dad.

Because I am gay. Nobody wants a gay dad. Especially a teenager. I feel like I am embarrassing them so I keep distant so their friends don't mock them at school

The more distance there is, the further away we drift. I don't know them, they don't know me. It's all a shit show..

Sometimes I walk past them when they're with their friends so they don't have to talk to me

And I know this because I know body language. I know how to read a teenager. They're not cool with the idea of having a gay dad but they're not given a choice so they have to suck it up for me. They're more comfortable with me in private but not to the level of dad and son.

My nephews on the other hand, ah lovely boys

Soooo proud of me. They love me out loud and they claim me in public. If I don't see them, they scream at me so I notice them. I miss them.

This is the only thing that makes me not want to be gay. If I could take just take it off for a moment for my sons to embrace me, I would gladly take it off and never put it back on. But great, homophobia is going to ruin the relationship I could have had with my sons. Fantastic

Homophobia 1-0 The gays