Daniel 5 is sublimely cinematic. The stuff of a good scary movie. I'm talking M. Night Shyamalan variety here, people, but godly and all. In the godly creepiness category, movie critics would give it 5 stars. King Neb's dead. King Belshazzar's enthroned. Holds a great feast.

1000 nobles are there. King gets sauced & wants to show off. Calls for the sacred gold & silver vessels King Neb had ransacked from "the temple, the house of God in Jerusalem." Passed them around. Biggest mistake: they all drank out of the gold vessels while praising their idols.

God has this thing about people treating as unholy what He has set apart as holy. You don't mess with Him on this kind of stuff and get away with it. SO, at that VERY MOMENT, "the fingers of a man's hand appeared and began writing on the plaster of the king's palace wall...

...next to the lampstand." The narrator means for us to picture the low-lit room full of highly lit nobles & how the light of the lampstand is capturing that detached hand doing all that mysterious writing, flames flickering, you and me shivering. Chew that popcorn, O ye people.

You're not going to believe this next part so I'll quote it word for word from the CSB. "As the king watched the hand that was writing, his face turned pale and his thoughts so terrified him that he soiled himself (yes, saints, he pottied his pants) & his knees knocked together."

So King Bel shouts for all the mediums & diviners & demands they read the inscription on the wall & give its interpretation. Can't. Everybody starts losing it. Queen hears the commotion & comes running into the banquet hall. Does the whole "May the king live forever" thing first.

(Hint: he's not going to.) Then she says, "I know a guy." Enter Daniel, a man "found to have an extraordinary spirit, knowledge, intelligence & the ability to interpret dreams, explain riddles & solve problems." (Someone get this dude a campaign manager.) Daniel solves it chill.

Oh, this is fabulous. Daniel tells him what's up. "You have not glorified the God who holds your life-breath IN HIS HAND & who controls the whole course of your life. Therefore, he sent (wait for it, people) THE HAND and this writing was inscribed." Don't make God send THE HAND.

Don't think God won't send THE HAND. He will. "This is the writing that was inscribed:
MENE,
MENE,
TEKEL,
PARSIN."
Interpretation? "Bye."

And "that very night Belshazzar the king of the Chaldeans was killed and Darius the Mede received the kingdom at the age of 62."

Morals to the story:

1. Don't mess with what's holy.
2. Glorify the One who holds your life-breath in His hand or you're getting The Hand.
3. God has Daniels around at looney times with looney tunes when word from heaven is "I'm warning you."
4. Read the Bible. It's so good!!!