On confrontation and disagreements.

Weeks ago, my boy messaged me to speak to me because he had been offended by something I had unconsciously been doing to him.

I listened to him, realised how what I had been doing may have come across the wrong way and immediately apologized.

It hadn't been anything evil, but because of our different personalities, it was good to clarify things.

It made me think on what I've learned about healthy confrontation and communication over the years, especially with people we love.

We all have different upbringings, cultures, personalities, etc. Due to that, there is due to be miscommunication and offence at times.

Example. If I introduced my Non-Yoruba friend to my grandpa, and they shook his hand firmly.

My grandpa might genuinely think that rude.

Due to my grandpa's upbringing, something like that may be deemed as disrespectful, whilst to my friend, that was showing a lot of respect. A quick conversation would show that no disrespect was meant.

Now with friends, our differences may be more subtle, but they are there.

This is why I'm not quick to say things such as "you are rude".

I tend to say instead, "that came across rude".

Because it's healthy to give others the opportunity to clarify something that may be due to miscommunication, instead of assuming that it is a character flaw.

This is obviously in context, as some things are rude and wrong no matter your upbringing.

The point being, in this age when people are quick to cut off friends or even bring disagreements to the TL, give grace to others.

Foster a culture of disagreeing healthily.

If you find it hard to communicate how you feel and confront others, I HIGHLY reccomend this book.

I've not always been the best at confrontation and I've made many mistakes. Being overly passive or aggressive.

This book helped me grow out of that. It is ABSOLUTELY phenomenal.