So the woman does everything at home. Cooks, cleans, looks after all, goes to office if working, does the shopping, pays the bills, manages the helps, cylinder, doodh, ironing, kirana, bachho ki books, homework, meetings in school, their classes, in laws, medicines, doctors......

What do men do? Get ready, pick up the tiffin, go to office, come home, chai, dinner, sleep. Easy peasy. Who's suffering? The wife. What does she get for it? Nothing. Not even gratitude. Is it not her job to look after family? Itna to karna hi padta hai, right?

Such injustice!

Down with men. Down with patriarchy. Down with incompetent baboons who won't even have cloths to wear if their women aren't looking after them. Down with everything. Why can't women have fun? Why can't men cook? Why can't they do dishes? Why can't they load the washing machine?

I'm a modern girl. My life my rules. I can smoke if I want. I can drink if I want. I can have affair if I want. I can livein if I want. Who are you to judge me? I'm not a baby making machine. I have aspirations. I have dreams. I want to be successful. I want to achieve something.

I want career. I want to go high up the ladder. I also want to marry someone who is like me. I want loads of money. I don't want to be stuck at home doing chores. I don't want to be stuck being a mother. I want independance. I want to stand on my own two feet. I want to be free.

This is the usual song. To all the womenfolk out there who have these grievances, which y'all consider very genuine, and from where you're standing - or rather thinking - they often seem so, let's look at it step by step.

First, what is it do you want? Do you know your options?

I'm gonna guess a few answers -

1. Success
2. Career
3. A successful and considerate husband/family
4. Financial security

Let me know if I'm missing anything.

Kids? How many of you want kids? Motherhood? Looking after family? Not having to work or have to do a job?

Why not?

We talk of equality. Are we equal? Are men and women equal? Be honest. You got a womb, fhs! You may not have wanted it, but you have it nevertheless. Do you think it's a burden? Why? Who taught you it's a burden?

Who taught you that virginity is shameful? That you are an object?

Look at your own roots, culture. Then look at the roots of feminism.

What do you measure success in? Money? Happiness? Satisfaction? All these are relative, if you think about it. What do you measure independance in? How do you value it? What constitutes independance for you?

A successful woman in today's general parlance is someone who has a great career, money, freedom.

But are you free in your career? Financially secure in some ways, perhaps, if it's a govt job. Otherwise? What security? How is that career helping you? Where are your choices?

You are a slave to your career. You don't even see it that way. But ask you to look after your in laws or kids, and you think it's slavery, bondage, free ki kaamwali.

Is this your self respect? Serving the boss is good, serving in laws is bad? Former is freedom, latter drudgery?

You ask, men get to do this and that. Why can't I.

How often have you bothered to ask a man, a real man in your life instead of a larger than life celebrity who is mostly faking everything including the hair on his head - what are his constraints, his limitations, his problems?

There's some work to be done, and there are two people in the team. What do they do? They distribute the work as best and finish it.

So is life, right? There is equal partnership. So man gets to do all the fun and woman is stuck doing chulha chauka is equal partnership, eh? Hmm?

Do you know what? YES. That is equal partnership. However much you deny it, you are first and foremost, a woman, a mother, a nurturer.

Do not devalue your natural skill sets. Leave aside complex cultural equations and simply look at your age. You'll want to be a mother some day.

If you've been too engrossed in your career, you missed the bus. There are no good men around. The earlier you get married, the better.

Do you think you can expect hubbies to play equal part in looking after the kid? Unless you are incapacitated or dead, baby needs mother.

Put that career on hold and enjoy the early years of your child. I had this friend once who wanted to be at the top. Then she met a man who WAS pretty much at the top, and his family didn't give a damn. Because he hadn't given a damn to his family when he was busy climbing.

See? It happens to men too. They too need to be involved in the family, and put the family first.

Look around you, in your office. How many men refuse promotion because they need to stay put for their old parents? How many men silently bear insults because they need the job?

Have you ever thought that is actually men who have absolutely no option but to have a job? YOU have the option to either work or stay at home. YOU have the option to tell your boss, go to hell. YOU have the option to find a rich husband so that you don't need to work at all!

These days, you also have the option of when to have kids, how many, or whether to have any or not.

You know what, you also have weird options like whether to have in laws or not. Is that not empowerment enough?

I wish you realised how bad it is to not have those oldies around.

You want to look good, and you also say you shouldn't be judged by your looks.

Come on, there's nothing shameful about wanting to look beautiful, and accept that fat is fat and ugly is ugly. You don't want to marry an ugly man, so why double standards? Accept the facts.

Anyways, I've rambled a lot and this thread is going nowhere and everywhere all at the same time, so I'll stop.

But dear feminists, think over what I said and do drop your questions, on TL or even the DM is open if you want.

Do get back. I'll be happy to answer anything.