almost all my memories w the exception of two (2) of my grandma are fond and i loved her a lot my grandparent were more like my parents than my actual dad and theyre both gone from my life now and idk how to cope w that lol

this thread is just my jumbled thoughts and i hope typing it out will clear my head a lil

i realize that im surrounded by ppl who care for me but my grandma loved me more than anyone else ever will in my life and my relationship w her was definitely stronger than all my cousins except for her fav (my oldest cousin)

and i feel like i cant talk abt her to the ones my age bc they usually make it about themselves and how they didnt get a chance to be closer to our grandma but i just wanna cry ya know

and its so crazy and heart breaking for me bc just the day before she passed i said i wanted to graduate and show my grandma bc she wanted me to try hard in school and i just think thats real fked up