Problematic origins aside, Rakhi or Raksha Bandhan in the times of a pandemic sucks.

A thread...
(1/n)

Suspended my home quarantine for all of five minutes to tie a rakhi for my brother (I had gloves on, we both had masks on) and never has my anxiety and awkwardness touched such high peaks, especially during a moment I once actually enjoyed.
(2/n)

The thought of coming in any sort of contact with my folks before my 14 days ended resulted in the worst sleepless night of the year so far. And then obviously resulted in me being a sour puss through the five-minute exchange.
(3/n)

I couldn't stop thinking about the risk everyone was willing to run so we could have a moment together as a family. And I feel guilty for even agreeing. But I also know that I'd have been guilt-tripped super hard for saying I wouldn't participate this year
(4/n)

Why? Because I've just moved back home after a year away, and *obviously*, being home means being a part of home. And that obligatory togetherness is hard to shake off, owing to years of conditioning and reliance, despite the paranoia that sets in due to a pandemic (5/n)

It's just five fucking minutes I've spent doing this, with as many precautions as I know how to take, but I would rather not do it at all than do it this way, where no one is really happy, and one person's anxiety is enough to get everyone to spiral. Fuck. This. Shit. (6/6)