With #AtLA discourse back on the menu, we're again seeing takes about how bloodbending is the absolute worst thing in a setting where other "powers" include crushing, stabbing, burning, exploding, suffocating, and so on.

I feel like I might be able to offer some perspective. 1/x

Warning: This thread will be long and horrible.

Among my other disabilities, I have narcolepsy, which offers some insight into "losing control over your body".

One way is cataplexy, where my muscles suddenly decide they're going on break and I drop things or even fall down. 2/x

Another big one is the sudden sleep attacks + automatic behavior. So I fall asleep while walking (or on a bus) and keep going, only to later wake up in a different place, completely disoriented.

There is also the flipside of learning things you said/wrote while unconscious. 3/x

Yeah. That happens too. Apparently I'm a little groggy but otherwise coherent.

Waking up to see that I typed things like "I love you too" or even "yes I fell asleep" taught me more about consciousness and the self than all my degrees and seminars. 4/x

Of course the most strikingly similar one is the sleep paralysis.

That's where your mind is awake, but your body is refusing all mental commands. You can open your eyes (and often see creepy dark shapes which have inspired many folk tales) but you can't even lift a finger. 5/x

And you know what? Those all SUCK.

And then they pass.

Wanna know what stays with me, and gets worse and worse?

All my other problems. The ones involving my body actually breaking down, as opposed to just flipping out for a bit.

It hurts your soul, not just your body. 6/x

When I can't write two paragraphs without tossing the pen in pain. When I switch hands because I didn't have the strength to turn a key in the lock. Having to convince teachers that I need a laptop. Wearing a brace not because it helps, but just so people don't shake my hand. 7/x

When my hand twists and curls in a desperate search for relief, and every single time I remember that the only "representation" I've seen is a pedophile with a "hooked" hand in a graphic novel. Exact same position. Thanks Alan Moore. Really nailed it. 8/x

Or when my insides are on fire because I ate the wrong thing or just sat too long. When I have to sleep sitting up because lying down is unbearable. When I put my hand on my chest and you can feel the heat from the outside.

And if you think it's bad going IN... 9/x

When I sit on the toilet so long my legs go numb. When the inside of the bowl looks like a crime scene. When I bite my arm so I won't scream from the pain. When I cry "please no more I don't want to I hate this body"...over going to the toilet. All dignity gone. 10/x

When I bend over to feed the cats, but I angle it wrong, and I end up slumped against the wall holding my thigh in pain.

When I bend over four more times, and my back locks up, and I can't walk until it loosens.

And I feel ashamed that my old aunt can do this faster. 11/x

People don't realize the mental scars left by physical pain. And it's not just chronic conditions.

When I was young, I was deathly afraid of needles and VERY stubborn. For my first root canal I refused the anesthetic injection. (I guess I was 12 or something.) 12/x

I can still feel the searing, blinding pain when I think of it. I'll never forget it.

(Yes I went through with it to the end.)

By comparison, I was 8 for my first sleep paralysis. When I think of it, I remember...being bored. Didn't even bother to tell my parents. 13/x

Now part of this issue is young people not knowing physical pain and it being brushed off in cartoons.

But the other part is the puritanical notion that being "violated" ruins you forever and makes your life worthless.

Which is such an awful message to send to survivors. 14/x

You know what let's talk "violation" while we're here.

Narcolepsy means you can fall asleep at any time. That includes during sex.

Multiple times I've fallen asleep during sex. And my partner "continued without me".

Is that bad? Yeah. Would I prefer being beaten up? No. 15/x

I don't mean to dismiss mental trauma. It's real and valid and I have my share of it.

But a lot of media act like scaring people is worse than throwing them off a building.

And I had to say...no I wouldn't like being controlled, but I wouldn't like being blown up either. 16/x

And if you think controlling someone violates their will but breaking their arm doesn't, you have a very weird sense of aggression.

I assure you all the mooks the heroes beat up in every show did not consent to getting beaten up. It's part of the conflict. 17/17