My favorite writing assignment I’ve ever done for school is writing a satirical news article about how Nicholas Cage sold his soul to the devil. Here are TRUE facts that I learned and included in the article:

His real name is Nicholas Kim Capolla

He once woke up to a naked man eating a fudge sickle standing over his bed

There’s a community on Reddit who refers to Nicholas as the one true God

He was once stalked by mine

When he was young he had a reoccurring dream of a giant blonde genie woman in a gold bikini plucking him from his toilet seat through the window

He used to live in a house that once belonged to serial killer Madame lalaurie

He once described the ritual he does to prepare for acting. He would put black paint around his eyes until he looks like an “Afro-Caribbean voodoo icon” and he would apparently engage in rituals like tribal shamans who would go into a trance into another dimension.

He described an experience when he got high on shrooms and became convinced that his cat Lewis was his brother

He says that he once spent the night in “Dracula‘s castle“

He has a collection of shrunken pygmy heads