Firepits bring out my inner caveman.

I get an undue amount of enjoyment out of tending a fire.

I don’t like to log-shame but of the three logs we inherited, one just sucks. It just lays there refusing to do its part. It’s a garbage log.

And now I can’t even enjoy the near-perfect Yule log-like fire because I know that one asshole log is just going to smoke and smolder as soon as the legitimate log behind it burns out.

I’m at an Air BnB. The house across the street had enough cut wood to get the pilgrims through six Plymouth winters.

I need two more logs to teach this recalcitrant shit log a lesson. There’s a slight chance of arrest.

I’m torn here.

Ok, here is the reverse angle of the shit log begrudgingly burning atop the far superior logs.

This is how shit logs get you. They act like they’re burning until their far better neighbors crumble into embers and then they just crap out.

Look at that stubborn bastard.

You. Are. A. Log.

You. Have. One. Job.

On the other hand, I’m starting to respect that log’s tenacity.

Maybe I should save it and turn it into some ashy totem to perseverance.

(Note: I have had many drinks)

Now I’m rooting for the log.

Jesus, this is a rollercoaster.

I will add no additional logs.

I will not intervene.

And now we wait.

Fight, you infernal pyrite! Yield not, obsidian warrior!

I’m maybe too invested here.

I like Stubborn Log’s chances.

It has withstood three hours of fire and is only weakening in the middle.

I am sorry for having so deeply misread this heroic log’s strength for weakness.

We must all question our perceptions for we have been taught to judge wrongly the log.

We have reached a *crucial* juncture in the events here.

Stubborn Log has fallen directly atop the embers thanks to the collapse of its weaker supporting log.

It is now *in the crucible*.

This... may end badly for Stubborn Log.

According to Google, those embers can reach eeee-leven-hundy-damn-degrees.

And yet still Stubborn Log fights on.

That is the baddest-ass log I have ever seen.

It is 18 inches of unadulterated moxie.

This is getting Shakespearean.

Stubborn Log, through nothing but willpower, has been holding itself above the embers by two tender fingers in the middle there.

Yet, that space creates optimal airflow adding only to its own struggle.

Concede the battle to win the war, sir.

If it relinquishes it’s middle support, it would, ironically, choke the embers and almost certainly leave the two butt ends to be hoisted aloft as heroic woodworks tomorrow.

Think, Stubborn Log, think.

Stubborn Log did it!

Surrendered the middle position. Closed off the airflow and is now all but certain of surviving as at least two sizable end pieces.

I am going to fashion them into some enduring testimony to the greatest log I’ve ever seen.

Come on, chant with me.

STUBBORN. LOG. STUBBORN. LOG.

That log has withstood the inferno for hours.

I don’t say this lightly but that’s a hero log. A log for the ages.

And on that note, I have left Stubborn Log to finish his long triumph over the fire pit.

I guarantee you, Stubborn Log will survive the night in part or in whole.

I will post confirmation of its triumph in the morning.