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maybe the reason i keep missing the people in my past even if bad things happened is that i can forget bad things (at least i can try) but i always remember the happy moments.
sometimes i remember only the bad stuff about my past and i get so sad, so angry, embarressed it makes me cry. it makes me think bad things. and i can& #39;t focus on the nice side of the past,
but the thing about happy moments are they come to your mind all of a sudden i guess. i still sleep with the teddy bear my elementary best friend got me. i haven& #39;t even talked to her in years. i forgot she bought me that. last night i remembered and i saw a dream about her.
last week i remembered something about my middle school friend while i was brushing my teeth. then i realized that i literally love her so much and even if we haven& #39;t talked in months i would still die for her. we have been through a lot together.
2 days ago i suddenly texted one of my old close friends. we got back after months of beef. i missed him a lot.
there are too many things, not only about persons. about items, places, animals, foods, movies. everything reminds me something good and bad in the past.
i think this is the thing about my forgiveness. one side of me will always remember the bad things that happened and always stay sad, angry. but my other side will always appreciate the nice things and make me smile suddenly.
