Read on Twitter
“what is a marriage but a government sponsored booty call” - makenzie
“it’s like the orion’s belt of zits” - nick
“some people enter an unwitting relationship with a mafia boss sugar daddy who will end up killing lee harvey oswald to cope??” - makenzie
“you can’t “coward” me into killing antman in cold blood, aj”
“that’s what he gets for not going up thanos’s butt”
“what’s it called when you have both mommy and daddy issues?”
“trauma”
“trauma”
“i thought ice cream trucks were fake”
“we can safely assume baby nut is a leo, which i don’t care for at all”
“smol 4skin”
“keeping it hard with the boys”
“is testosterone not just being high on horny(ness)”
“every man with a goatee is tony stark”
“i mean, i was”
“i mean, i was”
“baguette...”
“what’d you call me?”
“what’d you call me?”
“i’ve seen all of ratatouille just not all at once or at the same time”
“hey speaking of cucks”
“the commune house has a dumbwaiter”
“that’s no way to talk about the help alice”
“that’s no way to talk about the help alice”
“your engine’s running right?”
“well you better go catch it”
“well you better go catch it”
“she took the cat ears in the divorce”
“a butterfly, just like in animal crossing”
“i wanna try coke as kevin jonas”
“it’s like one of those things you get when you preorder a jonas brothers album”
“phyllis is a fair mistress”
“monster was my theme song for my warrior cats oc”
“being a trans ally is just letting your roommate fuck the last piece of chicken”
“he’s sexy in a rat kind of way”
“nobody ever expects cartoon jeffrey dean morgan read poster”
"you're like a walking glee episode"
“who’s on the quarter? wait, there’s nothing on the quarter”
“fuck you will schuester get cucked”
“megamind metroman mpreg”
“there is not a himbo twink binary”
“what am i choking on?”
“catgirls”
“catgirls”
“let me see that snong (snake thong)...snong snong snong snong snong”
“i’m allowed to raw dog a pancake”
“wolverines will take kits on camping trips!”
“i didn’t know wolverine had children”
“i didn’t know wolverine had children”
“i’m not even catholic anymore”
“who is?”
“john mulaney’s mom”
“the pope”
“who is?”
“john mulaney’s mom”
“the pope”
“he ripped him open with his bare hands”
“he doesn’t have bear hands he has wolf hands”
“he doesn’t have bear hands he has wolf hands”
“why are all musicals fucked up”
“because sad gay people write them”
“because sad gay people write them”
[watching pride and prejudice 2005]
“wow old deuteronomy is being kind of a bitch”
“wow old deuteronomy is being kind of a bitch”
“the only two solutions in this household are communication and asshole”
“all men in period pieces look the same”
“timothee chalamet and colin firth?”
“timothee chalamet and colin firth?”
“if anyone gets up during new moon i’ll kill you”
“JON ARBUCKLE HAS COME TO HAUNT ME”
“of the people likely to find megamind fuckable you are not high on the list”
“jasper cullen, confederate whore”
“dilfer? i hardly even know her”
“Quoth the raven, “dummy thicc””
“it’s like looking at a boob without a nipple”
“i think crabs do pretty well for themselves”
“i mean they have raves”
“i mean they have raves”
“cbtt...cognitive behavior testicular torsion”
“the tots are unionizing”
“i actually kicked salem like a football”
“if i had to die of tuberculosis or drink a red’s hard cider i’d pick the tuberculosis”
“my dream is to cause a mild inconvenience for taylor alison swift”
“a vial of horse cum”
“charles is short for chargoyle”
“sorry i called your mom gay”
“you’re so horny for dnd”
“finally i can convert to catholicism”
“maybe the glee porn parody will be our always”
“tyler posey’s immaculate slut energy”
“the a in a/b/o stands for archie”
“...archie/betty/oh jughead”
“...archie/betty/oh jughead”
about a scooby doo character: “that guy’s like their cuck or something”
“disclaimer: i’m about to be horny for a minute”
“to put it in supernatural terms, its ass is leaking in a walmart” - relating to a spinach pie
“i guess they’re called milkers for a reason”
“i know how to spell cum”
“i’m the cat mom to my inner cat boy”
“where does “cash money” fall on the swag to poggers taxonomy”
“charles shut up mother is having gender envy”
“cum poggers” 
“poggers cum”
“poggers cum”
“bf: cums
me: poggers”
me: poggers”
“you were born suffering alone and you’ll die suffering alone”
“i think the sex work prologues is the french revolution”
“animals should be able to vape”
“*unbusts your myths*”
“the fourth humor, omega slick”
“what a fucking cuck move”
“jacob’s simping for a newborn”
“jacob’s simping for a newborn”
“i wish lee pace wasn’t dead”
“it’s you. you’re girl boss hannibal”
“you’re cumming? we’re in the middle of lids and you’re cumming?”
“timothee chalamet looks like if you gave him a monster energy he would die”
“he’s so killable” - about stuart little
[kermit voice] “on god?”
“did gonorrhea effectively utilize girl power by becoming super gonorrhea”
“what’s a better trans bonding activity than watching danny phantom”
“brennan lee mulligan is our fifth roommate who lives rent free in all of our heads”
“the virgins nina garcia and zac posen and the chads heidi klum and tim gunn”
“don’t call my cat a centrist!”
“when you’re finished with the cock and ball torture you have to follow up with the cock and ball nurture! it’s called aftercare!”
“jesus, the mascot of christianity”
“the piston cup”
“you WHAT in his cup???”
“you WHAT in his cup???”
“inside you there are two wolves — they’re both dilfs”
