Republicans would have no standards were it not for double standards. #GOPhypocrisy (THREAD)

We're Republicans, and...

We believe the government can’t do anything right! (Have you seen us govern?)

We hate redistribution of wealth! (Unless it's for the 1%)

Government is of the people, by the people, for the people! (The *right* people)

We believe in state's rights! (Unless it has a sanctuary city or a lib governor)

The news is FAKE! (If it makes us look bad)

We're the party of Lincoln! (But recently endorsed by the KKK)

We believe in free market! (And huge corporate bailouts)

We believe abortion is murder! (And if you have one, you should be sentenced to death)

We are the party of fiscal responsibility! (When Democrats are in office)

We're pro-life! (Except when it comes to pandemics, war, and executions)

We believe in personal responsibility! (With the exception of family planning)

We're pro-family values! (Unless it's to separate families and put kids in cages)

We care for precious human life! (Until it’s after it’s born...then you get no boots, much less bootstraps)

We're pro-personal liberty! (Gay marriage, abortion, and legal weed not included)

We believe in less intrusive government! (Except when it comes to a woman’s body, legalizing marijuana, gay marriage, sexual behavior...)

We believe in small government. (Except we consistently spend way more than the other party)

We defend personal private property! (Unless we have to seize your land to build our wall)

We want a return to public decency! (Like those very fine people who marched in Charlottesville)

We believe in freedom of speech! (Though we may tear-gas peaceful protesters from time to time)

We believe in equal opportunity for all! (It's just a coincidence that our policies hurt people of color)

We believe in the right to bear arms! (Unless your skin isn’t white)

We're the party of law and order! (unless it's us breaking laws)

We love the United States of America! (but go ahead and wave those Confederate flags)

We believe in traditional Christian morality! (Except for electing a thrice married adulterer who ran on the promise of committing war crimes)

America first! (so long as Russia approves)

The government is BROKEN! (because we broke it)

Now it’s your turn...