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A policeman pulled a young lady over for speeding.
"Young lady, you were speeding! Can I see your driving licence, please?"
"Ooh, 'fraid not. I don't have one. The last time I was in court for drunk driving they took it away."
/1
A policeman pulled a young lady over for speeding.
"Young lady, you were speeding! Can I see your driving licence, please?"
"Ooh, 'fraid not. I don't have one. The last time I was in court for drunk driving they took it away."
/1
"The last time?"
"Yes. Four times I've been had up for drunk driving."
"OK. Let me see your vehicle registration documents."
"'Fraid not. I stole this car."
"What? You stole the car?"
"Yes. And to steal it I had to kill the owner."
/2
"Yes. Four times I've been had up for drunk driving."
"OK. Let me see your vehicle registration documents."
"'Fraid not. I stole this car."
"What? You stole the car?"
"Yes. And to steal it I had to kill the owner."
/2
"You killed the owner just to steal a car?"
"'Fraid so. Not only that, but I couldn't get his body into the boot so I hacked him into pieces, put them in bin bags, and put the bin bags in the boot."
The policeman looked aghast and backed off. "You're a bloody psychopath!"
/3
"'Fraid so. Not only that, but I couldn't get his body into the boot so I hacked him into pieces, put them in bin bags, and put the bin bags in the boot."
The policeman looked aghast and backed off. "You're a bloody psychopath!"
/3
"That's what my last victim said," smiled the young lady. "You know, I think you're going to need a senior officer here to deal with me."
"Too right!" said the policeman, who radioed his station.
Soon an Inspector arrived and was briefed by the policeman.
/4
"Too right!" said the policeman, who radioed his station.
Soon an Inspector arrived and was briefed by the policeman.
/4
"Now" he began, approaching the young lady, "you lost your driving licence because you were done for drunk driving..."
"Eh?" said the young lady. "I've never been done for drunk driving."
She dug in her handbag and drew out her driving licence, giving it to the Inspector.
/5
"Eh?" said the young lady. "I've never been done for drunk driving."
She dug in her handbag and drew out her driving licence, giving it to the Inspector.
/5
"OK," said the Inspector. "And you stole this car..."
"No I never," said the young lady, ferreting in her handbag. "Here are my registration papers."
The Inspector looked perplexed.
/6
"No I never," said the young lady, ferreting in her handbag. "Here are my registration papers."
The Inspector looked perplexed.
/6
"The story I've got from that policeman is that you have no driving licence, no vehicle registration, and that you murdered a man to steal this car, hacked up his body and put the bits in bin bag, which you then placed in the boot."
/7
/7
The young lady led the Inspector to the back of the car and flipped open the boot, which was quite empty.
"You idiot!" the Inspector bellowed at the sheepish-looking policeman. "Everything you've told me is a load of rubbish!"
/8
"You idiot!" the Inspector bellowed at the sheepish-looking policeman. "Everything you've told me is a load of rubbish!"
/8
The young lady leaned towards the Inspector and whispered in his ear.
"I bet you the lying bugger told you I was speeding, too!"
/9
"I bet you the lying bugger told you I was speeding, too!"
/9
