I took this picture in February/March 2019 in Chelsea, London... I was a very angry man and that anger caused so much pain and the pain pushed me to making many foolish, emotional decisions.

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I smiled with everyone when I went out and during meetings but I cried almost every night. I don't really suffer from the same vices most men do so thankfully I didn't drown in alcohol nor women nor narcotics... I was close to doing that though.

Anything to numb my pain and anger. I will not even allow myself share some of my thoughts. I will never say or write those thoughts down again.

I started shopping and buying all sorts of unnecessary things.

Then I started feeling bad about that. Then I had a thought... I felt that doing good would help me so I paid a lot of school fees, supported a lot of small charities. Basically, I gave away most of my money. I did not feel better.

I would say I was praying to God for healing but most of what I did was yell at God. I never really spoke to him. I couldn't hear, see or feel. Everything hurt.

This continued for a while until April. I truly prayed for the first time in 2019 in April.

I return from my 4th trip to the UK defeated and I turned to God. I was tired of being depressed, angry, sad and vengeful. I was tired of yelling. I finally heard Him. Everything that was taken would be restored. Every wound healed. It was all His Will. I surrendered completely.

I don't know what you are going through right now, but I want you to know it won't last long and if you are hurt and deeply wounded in your spirit, let go of that pain. It would only destroy you.

The people who cause the pain may have moved on or better still, it may have just been God's will. You are not alone. I pray for your healing and I pray for you to find peace in love in your heart to move on. To forgive. To love. To laugh

Took a nap and woke up feeling extremely blessed and then I saw this picture and remembered exactly where I was and how I felt when I took this selfie. Comparing that to the immense blessings and peace and love I feel in my heart today? God is indeed the greatest