Guys like McKnight don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re the product of a culture of beliefs, attitudes, passing comments and even jokes that devalue women and their bodily autonomy. And guys? That’s on us to fix.

We say “That’s so awful, I’m so sorry, how could this happen?” Or we sit here with this smug feeling of superiority because “Well, *I* would never hurt a woman like that”. As if that’s the benchmark we should hold ourselves to.

It’s not enough to not be a McKnight. Our job is not to do the bare fucking minimum and expect praise. Helping is about pushing back against the structures that create men like him. Be willing to have awkward conversations.

Sometimes, you’re going to have to be the fun police. Own it. That’s how we help. We’ve created a world built around sating our wants and desires, and that comes at the expense of women. Dismantling that is never going to be comfortable.

Believe women.
Support women.
Amplify women.

But also:
Show men.
Enlighten men.
Challenge men.
Convince men.

I’m not perfect here, and I readily admit to having more learning to do. But I’m so very tired of saying “I’m sorry you were assaulted”, as if that’s somehow enough. It’s time to take ownership of what we’ve created.