Yesterday a health condition I have, that's already taking years off my life expectancy - had a serious setback.

I'm back at day 1 and desperately hoping it was a blip. I've had blips before.

It took me off guard, but I'm not surprised. I'm in #AutisticBurnout, #depressed ++

And in a lot of mental distress.

The global pandemic was declared on my 51st bday.

Weeks later, Canada's largest ever mass murder happened and a family member was directly effected.

I've only gotten to sleep 3 times before daylight since.

After the murders my mom's beloved ++

Dog got suddenly very ill and had to be put down.

She had to do that all alone. No one to hug her.

Then a few weeks after that her partner has a heart attack and needs to rushed into surgery. Again, they had to do that w/o seeing each other.

Then my father in law had a ++

Heart attack and needed to be air lifted to the hospital for emergency surgery.

The same weekend my sister and her husband were on emergency evacuation watch in BC.

I thought I was going to just die from stress that weekend.

I realised not that long ago that #AutisticBurnout +

was back, or maybe never left.

All of this, and more because there's more but this thread is already long enough has equalled what happened yesterday with the blip I've had.

My #mentalhealth had tipped my physical health.

So back to day 1.

I've been back to day 1 many times +

over the past 8 yrs. I had a good run this time. But now I'm here and forced to make significant changes so I don't die.

I may leave social media for a while. I don't know the route back yet but I know I need out of the desperate space I'm in.

#ActuallyAutistic
#AutisticBurnout