When I first came out, everything even remotely related by me or others to gender was incredibly important to me.

"Those black socks? I don't care that they are too small, I need black woman's socks, I can't wear men's socks. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

It probably looked absurd from the outside, how much meaning I put into things like that. Things that weren't even about my gender, things that were pointlessly gendered. Things I would agree, should not be gendered at all.

But they were things I could hold on to.

Especially in the beginning, no matter how certain we are about our gender, about who we are, the presentation and performance aspect is something we are just learning. We are figuring out how to be ourselves authentically and publicly for the first time.

We are figuring out how to make clear to the people around us who we are, how to make sure they understand us. How to signal our gender identity, especially in a context where we are stuck in bodies that mainstream cis society insists don't "belong to" our gender.

Every bit of validation, every bit of safety, every bit of clear "doing my gender" is so incredibly important.

Everything that might put our gender in question is scary and painful. Every bit of insecurity hits like a brick.

So don't judge trans and non-binary folks for seeming "over the top" or "stereotypical" in their presentation. In a lot of ways, we are teenagers and even if we have been in our bodies a few decades longer than most teenagers, we will be just as cringey as you were at 14.

Between figuring out presentation, rediscovering ourselves, often for the first time, often dealing with huge changes in our hormones and our bodies, things are gonna be awkward and things are gonna be a little weird sometimes, ok? Deal with it, we'll grow out of it eventually.

Things calm down after a bit. I don't care that much about gendered terms/objects anymore. My old name is just my past now. Now that I can throw on a t-shirt & jeans & people treat me the way I want to be treated, I don't focus on it as much anymore. I'm not that anxious anymore.

Given a few more years, I'm sure my emotions will calm down as well, I won't be horny *all* the time anymore, I won't cry quite as much, I won't feel like a pubescent teenager anymore.

Till then, people just need to be patient and accept that I'm going through some stuff

So next time you look at someone in the first years of their transition and think "wow they are awkward/over the top" just consider the awkwardness of going through puberty. Especially as an adult. It's damn hard. It's hella stressful. And yes, it is fucking awkward.