I don’t want to date anymore men reinforcing beliefs that turn my love into mothering. There’s so much about loving men that’s actually blatant mothering, which in the long run hurts the romantic identity of women. I want free of that.

This is a huge problem for me because to me nurturing is love—and it still can be. But often as women we nurture with the intent to fix and not to exist in a mutually loving space with someone. We don’t value receiving care as much as we give it which is mothering.

When all you’ve been groomed to know is working yourself to death in order to show love or nurture others—which continues to be reinforced by patriarchy & misogynoir—it effects how you understand love, romance, sex, and all other ways you experience intimacy.

This is why women struggle to demand a certain kind of partner, this is why we struggle to explore in sex, this is why we struggle to stand up against toxic love, because we haven’t been given safe spaces to investigate who we are separate from mothering or taking care of folks