2 years ago, I had this mindset that when I see my pelvic bones, my ribs, my jawline and sunken cheeks, I am more attractive. I resorted to medications, crazy diets and even laxatives to maintain that standard not knowing that I was slowly killing myself. https://twitter.com/antoniaeIla/status/1289332538494693376">https://twitter.com/antoniaeI...

Took me some time to acknowledge that I was sick, i was too indenial, I was too influenced by what I see in the media without realizing that my body was built differently, that my metabolism was paced differently, my nutritional needs were different

But thankfully, I had the chance to reevaluate myself and things, I checked myself to medical help during internship, but man, the countless relapse especially during the first month, the feeling of painful contraction that overtaking laxatives cause became addicting

that I kept looking for the sensation because I knew after the pain, wearing clothes would be more comfortable.
Progress began to happen around the 2nd month, I had my first "unli wings" in cebu, but twas an exhausting contradiction in my head if I should take 4 pills after

But I didnt, denying the pill became more and more frequent and easier.
4 months in, eating became more enjoyable, relapse happened but very seldom.

Fast forward, I am now 1 yr and a half clean from the pill, I having folds here and there

But I am starting to be comfortable in them.

Truly, eating disorder is a shit show of a battle, literally and figuratively, there are too many unintentional triggers that can make you step back again.

Idk how to end this thread dramatically, so I& #39;ll just stop talking here.