I’m emotionally and mentally ready to share this, since it’s a week gone now. So last week Sunday,I wore my new leopard print Ankara to church, as I sat,bowed whispered a prayer,I immediately noticed this elderly woman (mid thirties) on my left weirdly smiling at me...
(Lol ma’am i mean I know I can be attracted to older women but ma’am we are in chu-) Wait what! I immediately figured why she was smiling, we both wore the SAME kind of leopard Ankara print 😫💔🤯, I hurriedly grinned back and faced my front,what!!, as I was trynna process..
everything, usher comes to me(cos Social distancing so we have spaces BTW us,and apparently the space btw my self and the woman wasn’t enough )the usher whispers ‘oga pls tell madam to to adjust’(SIR! Are you mad,I go comot your teeth just now,I don’t know this wo-)‘ok’ I said...
‘Ma can you adjust a lil’ with a big smile she said ‘ok’ (like ma why are you soo happy!??)she then turns to her left,grabs a child and put on her laps,that was when I noticed she had a baby AND GUESS WHAT?!!! The baby had the SAME Ankara print 😭😫, A whole complete family 👨‍👩‍👧...
Now the most traumatic part of the story, OFFERING TIME! ( in my church , you walk/dance to the front and drop your offering) we stood up and started out, me my ‘wife’ and ‘our child’ 😫, I tried to walk as fast I could to get over with that part, then I turned and noticed...
‘My wife’ was causing traffic,because she was seriously gbessing and komoleing,pastor from the alter was now looking at me like (can you tell your wife to move sir ?We have a second service) what is my own I dropped offering and went back to my seat. Church finished we stood up..
To leave, that was when I noticed her actual husband from the next row, and yes he had the SAME LEOPARD PRINT ANKARA!!! We all now stepped out , a happy big POLYANDROUS MARRIAGE! 😂💔😫.
How did I forgot to add! During sermon, the baby crawled to me and kept touching my beards ( I’m not your dad! Don’t you understand social distancing??? I have never wanted to kick a child soo bad) 😭😭😭😭
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