Started as the Count of Arborea. It's now 985AD and I'm Duke of Sicily and Sardinia.

I have lived a long and interesting life.

"Attractive Genius, but Stressed, Depressed Drunkard" is on my medieval business cards.

DAMNIT. Died just before competent daughter came of age.

At least I remembered to make boring, unambitious son her regent.

All hail Duchess Herleve, the Elusive Shadow! Ain't no one going to get away with plotting against her with that intrigue...

Oh go away King Martino.

In true "shitty dude in a nightclub" style, having been rebuffed, Martino is now trying to hit on my sisters.

Like her father, Duchese Herleve believes in leading from the front.

Hold uppppp. Apulia and Salerno are free. There's a non-zero chance that Herleve might get that super-sweet crown if the claims fall the right way.

Time to flip to the Queen of Sicily ambition, early. Just in case.

Go away King Otakar. I have no desire to marry your Indolent, wrothful son.

Oh my dear Count of Malta, now see if I didn't know you were trying to plot your way to a claim on my Duchy, I might have been lenient.

Instead I think we're about to get the matches out.

(Never instantly swat a plot. You never know when an opportunity might arise)

Time to start shagging my Court Chaplain and try and pop out a genius baby.

Oh hey. The Fatimids are kicking off aga...

Rough prune? ROUGH PRUNE?!

Oh you are going DOWN Caliph. This Duchess is putting you down HARD.

DEUS VULT!

The Pope and Duke of Salerno are coming to help as well.

WHO'S THE PRUNE NOW, CALIPH?! CALL ME A PRUNE AGAIN. I DARE YOU.

Don't be trying to run from me, you goddamn incel! You started this!

Here's a pound. Sod off to Greggs.

You show your face in Sicily again, I'll take the other leg.

Really wish I'd streamed this run now. It's been super fun so far.

Awww, didn't like getting beaten in a duel by a 21 year old Duchess?

BRING IT. I'LL BE WAITING.

Only one of us looks like a prune now, Mr Caliph.

Deus has most definitely vulted.

Cheers for the free piety, kid. Sorry I killed your dad. But he started it.

There are no victors in war.

Oh shit...

Sigh.

DEEEEEEEEEEUS VUUUUUUUUUULT. AGAIN.

This is inconvenient. I may have to legitimise my baby daughter.

Herleve is now 40 has fought off two adventurer assaults since last time. Sicily has prospered. But she's stresed, depressed and cynical.

Her kids have been a disappointment.

Last year she had baby Leseline. It almost killed her, but Leseline is a genius. In her we hope.

Oh, and she's slept with five different popes. The current pope is Leseline's father. He just doesn't know it.

(ignore the current heir. that's our imbicile half-brother. Leseline will have higher priority in inheritience terms)

Okay let's do this. Come on Herleve. I know you're tired, but one last big war. You can do it. FOR SICILY!

9000 Fatimids landing in Trapini. We'll fight them there.

For Sicily! For your Duchess! Send them back into the sea!

They're running! They're running! DEUS VULT!

The Caliph! GET HIM!

He now inhabits our dungeon. Deus has vulted. War over.

ALL HAIL DUCHESS HERLEVE! HUSSAH!

Huzzah!

But this is worrying. I kinda need her to live another 15 years, ideally. I've legitimized Leseline but we could really do with her coming of age first.

Oh ffs. Bloody Cathars.

WE ATEN'T DEAD!

The scars of freedom.

Oh Henry. I don't know who you are, but I feel like I already know too much about you.

Outrageous.

To be fair, he was under half my age. Probably time to slow down a bit anyway.

OH NO. NOT YET. I NEED MORE TIME.

Leseline is only six.

Confirmed. Okay, we need a decent regent.

Step forward Nizam.

You know what? Screw death. This Duchess is 47, scarred, stressed and sick, but not ready to go quietly into the night. I've been trying to get two claims on Salerno all reign with no luck.

But we've got one. So we're going to press it

This will be our last gift to our daughter

FOR SICILY! AND FOR LESELINE!

Victory!

Hokay. Herleve is hanging in there. 51 now and Leseline has just turned 10. The biggest looming issue though is the Byzantines. And that's a little bit of Sicily right in the midst of it.

I'm focusing on sitting quietly and trying to build up a war chest.

Leseline will need it

Leseline is 12 now so we get to pick her education focus.

We're going martial. We've had her in the guardianship of a Brilliant Strategist all the way through, and I'm hoping that will rub off on her.

She's going to need it with those Byzantines lurking.

(This is her guardian, Radolf, Herleve's Marshal)

NOT NOW POPE SILVESTER. NOT NOW.

Bloody Popes and their crusades.

We'll be sitting this one out. Sicily will contribute cash if we have to, but we're not dying in the sands of Egypt with the Fatimids AND the Byzantines eyeing up our lands.

Oh wow. And a Children's Crusade.

I'm sure that will go... well.

You're SURE you don't want to turn back?

God will protect you? But.... no look I'm not questioning his majesty.

I'm just SAYING that his infinite wisdom gave us brains and the ability not to make stupid decisions and-

No I'm not doubting-

Sigh. Here's 100 ducats. Have fun.

Leseline is 13 now, and has picked up the Just trait as well, which is nice.

Hang in there Duchess! 3 More years until she comes of age.

Here we go. The Byzantines are starting to get aggy.

Sigh.

No it's fine. Wait there. I'll go get my cheque book.

No, no. Don't worry about it. It's no trouble. Honest.

This is Duchess Herleve's shocked face.

Righto. Well, have fun Pope Sylvester. Send me a postcard.

Fifteen! And she's picked up the ambitious trait. If we get a good education Leseline is going to be fierce.

RIP, Duchess Herleve. You almost made it and saw your daughter come of age. Only 5 months short.

I guess if I pick this save up again, we'll see if at just 15 Duchess Leseline can keep Sicily intact between the Byzantines, the Fatimids and the Ikshidid threats

DEUS VULT!