Having vented about ‘vocal chords’, I shall now huff and puff about a few more classic misspellings. No. 1: ‘just desserts’. It has nothing to do with puddings, and everything to do with deservings. Correct spelling: just DESERTS.

Classic misspelling no. 2: ‘lightening’ is what Michael Jackson did to his skin. The big flashy stuff in the sky is LIGHTNING.

Classic misspelling no. 3: ‘baited breath’. Aaargh. Nothing to do with ‘bait’. When you hold your breath, you ‘abate’ it. Correct spelling: BATED BREATH.

Classic misspelling no. 4: ‘to the manor born’. The Penelope Keith sitcom title was a deliberate pun, okay? It’s ‘to the MANNER born’. It comes from Hamlet - 'Though I am native here and to the manner born, it is a custom more honoured In the breach than the observance.’

Classic misspelling no. 5: ‘the reigns of power’. No, no, no. It’s a riding metaphor. They are the REINS of power. The same goes for ‘free rein’, ‘reining in’, etc. It‘s about horses and their reins. Nothing to do with the word ‘reign’. Really gets on my tits, this one.

Classic misspelling no. 6: ‘gutteral’. Nothing to do with gutters. Everything to do with the Latin word for ‘throat’. Correct spelling: GUTTURAL.

Classic misspelling no. 7: ‘protruberance’. It might well ‘protrude’, but it’s from the Latin ‘pro’ + ‘tuber’. Correct spelling: PROTUBERANCE.

Classic misspelling no. 8: ‘slither’ is what a snake does. There is no such thing as a ‘slither’ of light, or a ‘slither’ of meat, or a ‘slither’ of sympathy. The word is SLIVER, from the Old English ‘slifan’, meaning to slice.

Classic misspelling no. 9: ‘sneak peak’. It’s not a peak, is it? Think about it. It’s a PEEK. A peek is a quick glance. A peak is the top of a mountain. Totally different things. And while I’m here, you don’t ‘peak’ someone’s interest either. You PIQUE it.

Classic misspelling no. 10: ‘torturous’ / ‘tortuous’. Yes, ‘torturous’ is a word. It means ‘involving torture’. But twisting paths and devious plans are TORTUOUS.

Classic misspelling no. 11: ‘tow the line’. I mean, come on. What would that even mean? Dragging a line along behind you? Eh? Correct spelling: TOE THE LINE. The precise origin is obscure, possibly 18th century British Navy, but it refers to standing with your toes on a line.

Classic misspelling no. 12: ‘Here! Here!’ Facepalm. It’s an exhortation to HEAR what has just been said. Correct spelling: ‘HEAR! HEAR!’

That’s it. I’m done.

For the time being.