Having "good grades" and "making it to college" doesn't exclude ADHD, it's a straight ticket to an adult diagnosis after a lifetime of struggle and emotional distress.

Some doctors only consider grades before excluding ADHD; if they're good you're out. I can't even beging to express how wrong that is.

Many people run on anxiety and a good memory and do okay in school, specially if they're gifted. They still struggle, but it's invisible.

We've all heard that "ADHD wears off in adulthood". While it might happen to some it often happens the other way around, specially for those undiagnosed.

Coping mecanisms will lessen with time, and exigency will increase. This causes increasing distress.

Let's break this down.

Emotional dysregulation: Adolescence is a heightened state of feeling per say, it's an explosion of feeling for the ADHD teen. Friendships and relationships are a double edged sword; if something goes wrong, RSD and the pain can be unbearable.

Moving out: many young adults move away for studies/work. The structure provided home, while we might not notice while we have it, it's a huge external regulation tool for many. Less chores, routines, someone nagging at you... It requires less executive functioning.

Take this structure away and you'll have someone who has to plan and make meals, on top of cleaning, showering, brushing teeth... And no one to tell them when or how to do it. This can lead to a messy household, unhealthy eating habits, lots of takeout, and general chaos.

Adulthood stuff: taxes, bills, paperwork, forms and more forms... Most ADHDers find this incredibly hard to do (even more on time). It adds to the general distress.

College: on top of everything else, the level of exigence and self regulation here is hard to cope with. Suddenly you can't pull a one nighter and finish that project you should have spent 3 months on. It requires organizational skills you don't have.

Many ADHDers can't cope in college. Crippling levels of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, feeling of failure, self blaming, and life in general falling apart... It's something you might never fully recover from.

So before dismissing or not believing someone because they "did well in school/college", consider all this. ADHD is much more than having trouble at school, if affects all aspects of our lives, and it can lead to a lot of mental health issues and suffering.