This is mostly true of upper castes. Among our communities it’s pretty chill. My paternal grandma was a widow all of my life. We don’t have these Pujas firstly, so no chance to I’ll treat my grandma not only adorned herself but also loved going to the beauty parlour. Her 4 sons https://twitter.com/abhinetra3/status/1289531458571313152

(My father and his brothers) Didn’t even have an opinion on it. The only concession she gave to the fact that she lived in a city in mainstream “hindu” society was that she wore a lot of white blouses (ppl in my community don’t wear white at all otherwise).

Similarly my mom

After my dad died in 2003 pretty much wears whatever the fuck she wants. My sister and I encouraged her to try on jeans and other “modern” clothes around 2006 and since then she wears those too. No one from our family or the community has ever thought to comment on her.

I swore that I will get my mom remarried before I get married and I doubt anyone will have a problem if that comes true either.

Also, my dads brother died at 30, fifteen days before his daughter was born, my grandma encouraged her young DIL to get remarried so she can “live”

Her life and voluntarily cut herself out of her grandchild’s life after the DIL got remarried so that she had a chance at making her own family without being impeded by our emotions for her daughter. Yeah, she’s that caring and that badass

Never heard of a bahujan community which indulged in sati or forcing widows to wear white or shave their heads or any of these sick practices, and this includes the dominant OBCs whom all UCs love to bash.