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Just popped in three edibles. Tonight is the night I finally watch The Rise of Skywalker.
I’m 7 minutes in and this is already some rough patched together shit.
I feel like I’m watching a movie with the third reel playing first.
The pain on Oscar Isaac’s face talking about Palpatine.
There feels like a good hour of material between this and the last movie that would’ve made this make sense.
You stay home, Kelly Marie Tran. We don’t want the fanboys to be mad.
Having Kyle Ren put on his helmet for exposition using Adam Driver’s recording session from NYC during his days off from acting in Burn This.
None of these scenes make sense on their own or together.
Lando: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oscar Isaac wears an expression on his face like he wants to be on the next flight home.
Go here. Pick up a clue. Go there. Pick up another clue.
I really feel bad for the editors tasked with assembling this.
Thanks for giving the one character played by a Latino a backstory of being a drug smuggler.
Did Keri Russell and Adam Driver carpool to the recording booth in NYC to record their dialogue while they were in Burn This?
I’m almost an hour in and this thing is all plot, no character. And the plot makes no sense.
Hope Jodie Comer was paid well for those combined 10 seconds.
I’m not fully convinced either Carrie Fisher or Adam Driver were actually in this movie.
That thing where Rian Johnson elegantly constructed plot while giving over a dozen characters interesting arcs?
That was some good shit.
That was some good shit.
Don’t let Reddit plot your movies, kids.
Just took a piss break at the exact midpoint of the movie as an homage to JJ Abrams pissing all over Rian Johnson’s vision.
It’s weird how they turned this into a quest movie since how everyone moves from one place another is really confusing. Every scene has a character pop up and me asking out loud, “How the fuck did they get there?!”
Harrison Ford didn’t bother to shave for this movie.
Go stand in front of a computer, Kelly Marie Tran.
I think my enjoyment of a Star Wars movie is in relation to how less obsessed it is with eugenics.
I’m having a bad time now.
I’m having a bad time now.
This movie shows that shots are considerably less elegant in a film when the actors aren’t actually acting together in the scene.
I saw CATS opening night instead of this movie. CATS is way better than this. I chose wisely.
Remember how Laura Dern and Benicio Del Toro were in the last movie and they were given good roles so that it never felt like they were slumming it?
At this point, it’s trying to spot when Adam Driver was cut out of an old scene and reinserted into a reshoot scene.
Fan Service: The Movie
Rian Johnson is a really, really, really, really, really good screenwriter and filmmaker.
It’s how incomprehensible this is from moment to moment that makes it so insulting.
Why do I try when something this cobbled together is released like this?
Just two women kissing each other for half a second...for representation.
In my best Daniel Plainview impression: “I’m finished.”
One last thought:
