So here& #39;s a thing I& #39;m tired of seeing.

Some people (maybe because we& #39;ve been steeped in a culture where sincerity is icky and even a sign of weakness, maybe because it& #39;s fun) use carefully placed insults as a tool for both bonding and even as a kind of compliment.

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Like: "By making this joke, I am expressing to you that I believe your status is high enough, and you are strong enough, that it will not bother you. Indeed, this joke is an admission that you and I are equals, or possibly that you are even superior to me."

And I don& #39;t think this is great, but it& #39;s not terrible. We have to live with the baggage we& #39;ve been given. And it is effective sometimes.

But when the power dynamic isn& #39;t VERY CLEAR, it& #39;s really easy to misunderstand as negging, manipulation, or an assertion of dominance.

It& #39;s so easy to misunderstand (even easier when people don& #39;t have the same baggage around sincerity that my culture gave me) that it may be a tactic best used /never/, but it is definitely a tactic best used only in situations where power dynamics are very clear.

OK, That& #39;s all!