I’m trying to put into words how frustrating it is to be left in the dust in conversations of accessibility for mental disabilities because I am forced under the bullshit “””high functioning””” label

I’m too autistic to work a 9-5 day job. but I’ve masked for so long I have to
I can’t apply for disability aid because I cannot survive on it. I can take care of myself, until I run out of spoons and can’t until I recover, days or weeks later

I can just barely throw myself together in the morning and look presentable. But there’s always something i forgot
I mask it all day at work. My coworkers get to go home and have a few hours to go out, spend their excess energy doing something fun or productive

I get to lay in bed on my phone for 4 hours, cranking the dial on my insomnia because my brain /wont let me do otherwise/
im exhausted. 10 times more exhausted after doing anything even remotely energy-consumptive than people without autism or adhd. masking takes extra spoons on top of normal activities. it’s not fair and there are 0 resources for me unless i pay out the ass for them
Just remember to think of those of us who have to pretend to be neurotypical no matter how much our brains bodies want to shut down when talking about or seeking equity/accessibility options

accessibility reaches far beyond parking spaces and subtitles
most people like me struggle quietly and have learned not to bother anyone, because our symptoms and behaviors aren’t ‘invasive’ enough to warrant pity or assistance, and it’s easier to just deal with it and pretend

it isn’t a privilege to function at an acceptable level
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