i just don't know what to think when i see trans activists discuss trans suicide rates. it's a failure of our government and society that anyone dies to suicide - everyone deserves support. but i also know that the trans community has dynamics which directly harm suicidal people.

the trans community has a martyrdom problem. when we claim that some legal or bureaucratic issue causes trans people to commit suicide, that means that every trans suicide related to this issue furthers the cause. these victims become martyrs: their deaths help the community.

right now, the #1 issue this is applied to is paediatric transition. trans activists have absolutely no interest in supporting suicidal youths except by helping them to extort their doctors and parents. children are taught that their potential suicide will be an 'i told you so'.

at the same time, false suicide statistics are waved around in a way that seems to normalise suicidal tendencies in trans youth. when i was a kid, i felt pressured to attempt suicide at least once before i was 20. all trans kids do it, right? i wanted to be taken seriously.

i never did attempt suicide, but i wonder how many people did because they felt the same way. like it was a rite of passage. like if it worked, you'd be a martyr and prove a point, and if it didn't, you'd be part of that 48% statistic and be taken more seriously by your doctor.

maybe it's horrible of me to hold a community partly responsible for its own suicide rates, but i can't look at the phobia-inducing, the martyrs, the sexual abuse epidemic and the rhretoric that suicide is preferable to detransition and act like i don't think it's an issue.

mostly among trans women, there's a common narrative that it's better to die than to fail to pass, or to be an unattractive woman. this is one reason why paediatric transition is a priority. because people who are unhappy with their transition are expected to commit suicide.

i don't think i've ever seen anyone say that trans people need more access to therapy and other mental healthcare, or advocated for any crisis support other than hormones, surgery, and trans women's admittance to rape shelters and counselling (but not trans men's). genuinely.

suicide is borderline fetishized. the trans community paints a picture of suicide as an uncontrollable urge: that people can be 'made suicidal', or 'driven to suicide' by their circumstances. suicidal people have no agency. a suicidal trans person getting help is never mentioned.

most damning to me is the lack of resources for dysphoric people. there is absolutely no reason that even transitioning people shouldnt be provided help with minimising their remaining dysphoria. people who can't transition get no help other than being told 'you're still valid'.

not only is there no existing therapy or resources to help with understanding, managing and healing from dysphoria without changing ones body, but nobody wants it. even for people who can't medically transition. even when their dysphoria makes them feel suicidal. why?

the fixation on death is constant. if you don't transition, you'll kill yourself. if you do transition, someone else will kill you. we're taught to become obsessed with our own premature death and then told that either way, to cure dysphoria or to pass, we need hormones. now.

i think that the comorbidity of suicidality and gender dysphoria is inherent. one of the most life changing things i read is that when we want to kill ourselves, what we're really feeling is an intense need to change our lives, and we can't see a viable way to do it.

transition isn't just a change - it's a whole new life. you get a new name, a new appearance, new friends. when i imagined post-transition me, he looked and behaved absolutely nothing like me. his life was the opposite of mine. that's what i wanted, and i think this is common.

i think the possibility of transition draws in people who already struggle with depression and suicidal feelings. it's marketed as an easy fix to whatever we don't like about ourselves and our lives. and so it's even more outrageous that suicidal people are treated so callously.

when i was a trans-identified and severely depressed teenager, i think i needed to know that i could be happy someday, exactly as i was. i did not need to hear about other trans-id'd teenagers deaths, the method they used, and the contents of their suicide notes.

i actually remember, just before trump was elected, seeing on social media a list of lgbt (mostly trans) youth who had chosen to die rather than live under trump's admin. it was completely made up. this is the insanity we all live with in that community. deaths = clout.

if the trans community wants to see change, then everyone has to stop martyring people who die to suicide, because it directly leads to contagion. maybe your article won't be so punchy if you don't mention your dead friend in the first sentence, but it could save a life.