Losing most of my income this pandemic & struggling to hold my shit together as an indie artist against a backdrop of aggressive capitalism makes me just... idk..fuck this narrative. My biggest insecurity as an artist isn't that I'm not good enough; it's that I'm not fast enough. https://twitter.com/thefader/status/1288945993900339200

The systemic sieves already keep people like me from succeeding. As a disabled person, this mentality + expectation of rapid release cycles stings extra hard, because I literally, physically, functionally cannot create my art *and commercially package it* fast enough.

The indie movement and "new music business" has a lot of empowering things about it. I partake in it, to be sure! But many of the "empowering parts" are also survival-instinct reactions (read: coverups) for the ways that the commodification of music & art fails artists.

In some ways, "there's no better time to be an artist." We have tools to connect with fans, multitudinous avenues to monetize, and a low barrier to entry (as long as you don't mind entering through the doggy door; it's time we stop pretending that all entrances are equal).

But we also monetize multidunous avenues because we kinda HAVE to, right? I guess we CAN think of "multiple monetizable avenues" as an "opportunity," on a good day. But on a bad day (or sick day or pandemic year), it's a prison that we're forced to accept as strategy.

I've heard arguments about the simultaneous devaluing & overvaluing of music. I feel connected to both sides of most of these arguments. I think music is sometimes devalued and other times overvalued, depending on what we are defining as "music product."

In April, there was lots of talk on Twitter about whether music/arts are an "essential service." I didn't engage with the threads, because I didn't agree with the false equivalencies I saw with regard to artists & art, art & craft, technicality & artistry.

But my feeling were basically that 1. Art IS essential, and 2. Art is usually NOT urgent for survival.

If you've ever made one of those to-do charts comparing urgent/non-urgent & important/non-important, art is conceptually in that dreaded "important but not urgent" category.

That's the most annoying category ever. That's the category that's perhaps *the most important of all* and yet *least likely to do/value.* Honestly, RIP all the things on my to-do list that end up in there. Things that could change my life...but I'm pulled toward my urgent needs.

It's not natural for most of us to prioritize that category (quadrant 2), and it makes sense to tend to what's urgent, let "important but not urgent" things slide, test the waters there, consider it more expendable or sacrificable (in budget, for instance).

So the things in that category chronically suffer. They're not fed enough. Not given enough time. Or they become values in thought but not practice. Ex. "I really value ____ and _____ is/are indispensible to my life, but I don't really prioritize ____ when it comes down to it."

Fill in the blank with anything in the "important but not urgent" (quadrant 2) category.

- healthy relationships
- learning and practicing
- art/music

These things need a little more effort and love to take care of.

I am sick of tech companies who see art as a monetizable asset, bc they're not reallly trying to monetize things for artists. They're making money for themselves while giving artists some spare change as a party favor. We're gobbling it up, don't get me wrong! Who could blame us?

I've never been part of the "old music industry," so I've admittedly been too impatient with older artists (even just 10 years older than me) unwilling to change with the times. I'm more patient now, because I realize I've been a little too accepting of this industry I inherited.

(I'm not saying that the old is good and the new is bad. A lot more things are accessible nowadays and a lot of things also less accessible. It's just different. That's all I can say for sure. I don't want to divert this thread, so moving on.)

I'll wrap this up with something more tangible. This is the amount of money I've earned from nearly 200K streams. It's just shy of $700. Total. Judging from the messages I still get 5 years after releasing my album, I know that my music has value to people other than myself.

But my music doesn't have sufficient quantitative value, not according to current norms. If I didn't work my ass off with my "other income streams," I would not have my basic needs met.

I've made a lot of music since 2015, but most of it isn't packaged up for commercial purposes. It's expensive to release music (especially if you're precious about your art), and anyone who tries to prove otherwise is missing the point or forgetting the investments they made.

It's no wonder my art brings me constant mental anguish. It's simultaneously the most liberating and most shameful thing I do. Artmaking keeps me alive. And then I berate myself for doing so much of it instead of "actually making money and helping myself" on any given day.

Patreon is the only remotely artist-centric, artist-supportive platform I'm part of, as it doesn't demand that a rapid release cycle determine an artist's worth. (Shoutout to my patrons btw, who are ironically probably the ones actually making it through this thread.)

Frustratingly, I don't have a solution to this complex state of affairs, and I also know that I didn't present the elements comprehensively. I both do and don't support services like Spotify. If you're wondering, yes, please! -- I still want you to stream my music, bc we now...

...operate in the realm of algorithms, and the ways in which you help me out by streaming my music are more indirect than the simple value-for-value exchange of a stream.

I'm just suspicious of the ways tech companies over-emphasize their "perks" while failing at the basics.