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Why I hate this society. [A quick thread]
If I was able to change one thing in order to make my life more peaceful, my answer would be: Society.
Now, this is not a "X society is better than Y" thread. I don& #39;t know how others live, so I won& #39;t comment on them.
Now, this is not a "X society is better than Y" thread. I don& #39;t know how others live, so I won& #39;t comment on them.
I do however know how this society functions (to an extent) so I can comment on that and talk about it& #39;s negative impact.
Also, "But this happens in XYZ place too" is a shitty argument. As I said, this is not a comparison, this is just an honest evaluation.
Also, "But this happens in XYZ place too" is a shitty argument. As I said, this is not a comparison, this is just an honest evaluation.
The thing that I hate the most is how we control each other& #39;s lives. This is not just limited to patriarchy and male dominance. This extends everywhere. The basic principle, however, remains the same.
First, let me tell you that I am a civil engineer. By my family& #39;s choice. And I don& #39;t blame them because at that stage I wasn& #39;t mature enough to take such a big decision - fair.
Now, that& #39;s an issue. The question isn& #39;t "Why your parents can/can& #39;t decide that for you?"
Now, that& #39;s an issue. The question isn& #39;t "Why your parents can/can& #39;t decide that for you?"
The question is, "Why can& #39;t you decide it for yourself?"
That& #39;s where "society comes in. We are never taught to make our own decisions. We are never given the freedom (not just physical, mental freedom is a thing too). We are not allowed to control our lives.
That& #39;s where "society comes in. We are never taught to make our own decisions. We are never given the freedom (not just physical, mental freedom is a thing too). We are not allowed to control our lives.
We are trained to obey our elders and not ask questions. We are trained to follow instructions. We are trained to so what we are told. We are never trained to think. We are never asked what out opinion is. We are not given importance, so we don& #39;t give ourselves any importance.
And this comes up in every decision. Education, job, career, family. All these decisions are taken by other people in an average household. Not *just* because you& #39;re not allowed to. Also because you don& #39;t have that capacity.
That is an issue no one talks about. Let& #39;s explore it.
That is an issue no one talks about. Let& #39;s explore it.
I am a 20 year old soon to be engineer and I have never felt the need to develop a personality.
I am an introvert, I am shy, I don& #39;t talk to people. I don& #39;t have to. I don& #39;t have any value to add because I know my opinion won& #39;t matter.
I am an introvert, I am shy, I don& #39;t talk to people. I don& #39;t have to. I don& #39;t have any value to add because I know my opinion won& #39;t matter.
And just to be clear, this does not make your family bad people. They& #39;re just as ignorant about it as we have been. That& #39;s how they grew up, that& #39;s the only way they know off too. I blame society.
We are humans. We are faulty. We like control and authority.
We are humans. We are faulty. We like control and authority.
It& #39;s not always possible yo have it in your own life, so you try to have it over others& #39; lives.
Some time back I had this discussion on whether there was anything wrong with a woman choosing to be a housewife.
At first glance, there isn& #39;t.
Some time back I had this discussion on whether there was anything wrong with a woman choosing to be a housewife.
At first glance, there isn& #39;t.
In fact, if it& #39;s her choice then she should be encouraged. Right?
Probably not. The thing is that the structure of our society is so male dominant that a woman may become content at being a housewife. Not because she wants to, but because she was never told otherwise.
Probably not. The thing is that the structure of our society is so male dominant that a woman may become content at being a housewife. Not because she wants to, but because she was never told otherwise.
Just like I am going to be a civil engineer when I didn& #39;t want to. Now, I may have enjoyed this field and loved my job. But, does that make it right?
Judge the process, not the result. For me, it remains wrong either way.
Judge the process, not the result. For me, it remains wrong either way.
A woman is happy being a housewife because she was told to be a housewife. And because she couldn& #39;t decide better for herself, this is a good thing.
Wrong. This is even worse. This is systemized patriarchy. And our society is filled with it.
Wrong. This is even worse. This is systemized patriarchy. And our society is filled with it.
From being a kid to being a married man, you never really "grow" as a person. Others control your life. And you let them because you can& #39;t take those decisions for yourself.
That is horrible. That& #39;s when you know the system has failed. This system has failed.
That is horrible. That& #39;s when you know the system has failed. This system has failed.
How can we change that? I am not sure.
Probably listening to your children is a good start. Ask them what they think. Make them feel valued. Let them take their decisions. Let them learn.
Probably listening to your children is a good start. Ask them what they think. Make them feel valued. Let them take their decisions. Let them learn.
Otherwise we will keep producing dumb people like me who can& #39;t take a simple decision for themselves. Because they& #39;re never told to. This is not their fault. This is not necessarily parent/family& #39;s fault.
This is the society& #39;s fault.
This is the society& #39;s fault.
I am not asking to throw your kid into a storm and let them figure it out. Let them know that you are there for them, but encourage them to be their own men/women.
Be there as their training tyres. But LET THEM PADDLE!
Be there as their training tyres. But LET THEM PADDLE!
That& #39;s pretty much it. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
