Would like to be as happy one day as a lacrosse player from darien Connecticut hearing ‘brown eyed girl’ for the first time in his life and realizing ‘damn my girlfriend has brown eyes’

Nobody enjoys music more than the socially successful suburban athlete who just likes putting on jams and feels no pressure to turn taste into social capital. This is why DMB’s Ant’s Marching is the purest, most enjoyable form of music. Same with Madonna’s Like a Prayer.

Along the same lines Sonic Youth and Slint are the two worst bands of all time because nobody has ever enjoyed them without feeling incredibly self conscious about it. Music is best when it clears the mind of the self.