I think it’s time I tell you guys about the fart bag.

When I was sick I had some severe stomach pain. One of the only things that would help with this is ice packs. However, we didn’t have a lot of ice packs on hand so I had to use whatever frozen veggies and goods we had.

This went on for about five days. We used everything from frozen veggies, pizza rolls, ETC. Eventually I started feeling well enough that I could get past the pain without the ice, So whatever we had used we decided to throw away since it had been frozen and unfrozen so many time

However, even after many attempts to clean our room and get rid of everything we thought was problematic, the room continue to smell like farts for something like three days. I cannot stress this. It smelled like farts.

Like imagine somebody just farting in a room all night. You enter that room the next morning, you are immediately horrified, and the smell lingers and everything. We could not figure out what exactly was causing the smell and we’re very concerned.

Imagine my horror when I pick up a shirt next to the bed that I had somehow missed and the shirt was inflated. I picked the shirt up and felt whatever was inside bounce. Then I smelled the farts.

What I had forgotten was a small chicken breast that I had a small hole punctured in the bag just big enough to let the scent of farts leak into the room gradually and consistently over three fucking days. Three days of steady farts.

Even as I took it out of the house and ran down the alley with it, you could smell the trail of farts everywhere I went in a perfect line. The smell would not disperse. I walked past fen and said found the culprit don’t ask. She could smell it as I left the house.

The bag popped when I threw it in the dumpster. I ran away before I could see what it happened. I’m thoroughly concerned that whatever was in the bag was alive. Anyways, that’s the bag of farts.