i'm still halfway through LN 12 excerpt but dammit it's making me cry.... like you can really tell that a lot of thought went through his decision of going to brazil, and all of it is because of kageyama. when he was talking with yachi at sakanoshita, i can sense his longing

"kageyama never tells me anything"

he's sulking. he's affected. kageyama is such an important part of his life and he wants kageyama to tell him firsthand about the things in his life. but it didnt even occur to him that they're the same. they're both closed off about themselves

he sees kageyama as his partner, someone different from a friend. he wants kageyama to see him in the same way as well, that's why he's salty that kageyama never told him about his plans

i'm emotional because despite everything, kageyama is still the pinnacle of all things volleyball in hinata's eyes. he desperately wanted to reach him, to stand on the same stage as him, and play volleyball with him AND against him forever

hinata's been pining for years, he's even thinking about kageyama in brazil, told other people about his nail routine despite not saying who it was, thinking about their "see you again" scene when he was being homesick.... kageyama is his motivation, his goal

kagehina brainrot hours,,,,,,, i hate it here

like,,,,,, did hinata know beforehand that kageyama won't be able to send him off or did he just learn about it from yamaguchi? i guess he'll be a bit sad inside but he dismisses it because kageyama's working hard on his own, which means he himself must work hard too

he must work hard so he can catch up. he must go to brazil to polish his skills and be good enough for a good setter to choose him. he was referring to kageyama. he wants to be worthy enough of getting olympian kageyama's tosses

like,,,,, did hinata cry when he received that call from hibarida that he's finally part of the national team? that he's going to olympics? because after all those years, he finally reached his goal. he finally fulfilled his promise when he was 15.

he's finally standing at the world stage together with the person who showed him the view from the top