German composers vs. Ludacris

A THREAD:

Wagner: staunchly anti-Semitic, a figurehead among German nationalists and eventually Nazis

Ludacris: Wrote "Pimpin' All Over the World" and "Area Codes." We stan a globalist king.

Bach: Fathered a ridiculously unsustainable 20 children. Wore wigs

Ludacris: Devoted dad to a much more reasonable four wonderful kids. Wears pajama onesies

Schoenberg: Used Sprechstimme because he couldn't decide whether his performers should sing or rap

Ludacris: Confident and secure in his rapping

Ludacris: Wrote an entire verse with the same polysyllabic end rhyme, featured in Austin Powers

Schubert: Can't come up with his own lyrics, used Goethe poem that rhymed "Schweif" with "Nebelstreif." Does not appear in Austin Powers

Beethoven: Ridiculously shy, never sent a love letter to his (married) crush Antoine Brentano

Ludacris: Confidently and magnanimously asks "What's your fan-ta-ta-sy?" What a Chad.

Haydn: Relied on the rich Esterházy family of patrons to pay his bills

Ludacris: Wrote and recorded his own CD as an independent artist, selling 50,000 at "$7 a pop"

Ludacris: Has starred in the majority of the Fast and the Furious franchise

Mozart: Has never appeared in a F&F movie, possibly did not even own a sports car

Ludacris: Collaborated with Missy Elliott, Jermaine Dupri, Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, and more

Strauss: Collaborated with the Nazi Reichsmusikkammer

(music historians: yes, I know. I'm leaving out some important facts, like Ludacris also collaborating with Jason Aldean)

Bruckner: Problematic orchestration, especially for brass

Ludacris: Clear, crisp low brass in "Rollout." Has not been criticized for his orchestration

/thread

(P.S. yes I know I'm taking a lot of things out of context here. So in the interest of full disclosure, some of these composers were Austrian)

Getting some other good and scholarly suggestions to add to the thread, so:

Alban Berg: Called for blackface in his opera Lulu

Ludacris: Never considered using blackface, or writing an opera

(s/o Jeremy Orosz)

Robert Schumann: Insecure, injured himself permanently trying to stretch his hands to make them bigger

Ludacris: Confident and handsome with a convenient 5'7" stature

Mendelssohn: Converted to another religion to get ahead in society, denying his Jewish heritage

Ludacris: A believing Christian but not a dick about it, and an activist who is proud of his African heritage

(s/o Isaac Gantwerk Mayer)

Brahms: Misidentified the St. Anthony theme as written by Haydn

Ludacris: Gives proper credit when sampling

(s/o Isaac Gantwerk Mayer)