Thread by @plpolitics, I’ve been going back and forth several times about whether to tell [...]

I’ve been going back and forth several times about whether to tell this story or how much detail to go into but I’ve settled on keeping it vague because I don’t want to drop someone’s name without asking them first. Here goes...
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I went to a tiny private college with maybe 1,400 students. There were very few Black women there as students and off the top of my head I can only recall 4. But three of them were involved in musical activities, all talented and I majored in Music Theory/Composition.
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One of them was not only one of the best a capella singers on campus but a talented actor and one of the most gorgeous women on campus. Her scenes in Company and in another One Act Play Competition are some of my most vivid memories theatrical memories from my time there.
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Anyway, she was a grade or two above me and was going to graduate soon when she happened to end up next to my mom on a flight when she visited me. I wasn’t there but my mom talked to her (she talks to everybody) and told me about it afterwards.
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She confided to my mom that dating at college had been hard for her (and honestly, I could tell my mom would have tried to set me up if this young woman weren’t about to graduate). But it shocked me that someone that talented, charming and gorgeous wouldn’t have their pick.
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That student written one act play I mentioned? She gave some answers in that. The key wording was “for a Black girl.” About how guys around her had said things like “Tyra Banks is beautiful... for a Black girl.” I can’t imagine what caveats like that felt like.
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And after the one act, after my mom’s conversation, I found myself thinking back: how many times had I said anything in my department or social life had I complimented this person I respected? I couldn’t think of any. I had just assumed everyone knew how awesome she was.

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And I thought to myself about how many times I had asked people out and been rejected and taken it in stride, yet despite being attracted to her I had never even introduced myself. I was intimidated and assumed she would think I was boring.

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Maybe I wasn’t her type and she’s glad that I never said anything - I’ll never know. But in terms of the music/acting side, I found myself wondering: why hadn’t I complimented her in conversations with my friends? Why’d I assumed everybody “just knew”?
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One thing I do know is that she didn’t let clueless white guys, many oblivious to extra hoops she faced, stop her from being awesome. She went on to guest on a critically acclaimed Netflix show, 6 episodes on Showtime show etc. and has been working regularly and kicking ass.

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I didn’t do a good job of recognizing/praising her skill & talent in college but I did try to learn from it. And now when I see black women that are being awesome I do my best to amplify them. Because it’s not just malicious guys making it hard for them - clueless ones, too.
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I’m thinking about that a lot this week. How many talented, over-qualified black women managed to succeed in the face of both malice and cluelessness only to have petty white men try to deny them opportunities?
How many white men respected them but didn’t do anything to help?
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My classmate succeeded. The black women being considered for President, including especially Kamala Harris (the one that ran for President herself) have succeeded.

And if white guys want to call ourselves allies, we sure as heck should SUPPORT them, not tear them down.

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Because the question isn’t “why are we making it about race” it’s “why aren’t we honest about how often it’s BEEN about race.”

I’m going to call out how awesome Kamala is and I’m not going to denigrate the other black women being considered to do it. I urge you to, too.

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