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[PTSD]
It took me a really long time to figure out I might have PTSD because I don't want flashbacks where I see like, a film of what happened
It's more like little intrusive thoughts, except they're little snippets of memories of traumatic stuff
It took me a really long time to figure out I might have PTSD because I don't want flashbacks where I see like, a film of what happened
It's more like little intrusive thoughts, except they're little snippets of memories of traumatic stuff
[PTSD]
For reference, intrusive thoughts are a symptom of conditions like OCD
And it's kinda like having a terrible song stuck in your head, except instead of music it's thinking about hurting yourself or "what if I stole this right now"
For reference, intrusive thoughts are a symptom of conditions like OCD
And it's kinda like having a terrible song stuck in your head, except instead of music it's thinking about hurting yourself or "what if I stole this right now"
[PTSD, SA]
So for me flashbacks are like having a terrible song stuck in your head, except instead of a song it's disjointed fragments of horrible traumatic memories
Only I might not realize they're traumatic memories, because no one holds up a sign saying "PS this is rape"
So for me flashbacks are like having a terrible song stuck in your head, except instead of a song it's disjointed fragments of horrible traumatic memories
Only I might not realize they're traumatic memories, because no one holds up a sign saying "PS this is rape"
[PTSD]
The thing is that most of my memories are not like, a film montage that plays from beginning to end
But for my not-traumatic memories, they don't make me feel like I'm floating outside my body (ie, dissociating)
The thing is that most of my memories are not like, a film montage that plays from beginning to end
But for my not-traumatic memories, they don't make me feel like I'm floating outside my body (ie, dissociating)
Anyway I think this is just another one of those things where reading the list of diagnostic criteria makes me think I don't have something, but when I talk to people who actually have the thing it's like "...oh"
[trauma]
My brain seems to go through cycles of healing where I can't get a traumatic event out of my head for awhile, and then I do a bunch of coping stuff, and then I get a break, and then my brain goes "ok time to process more trauma"
My brain seems to go through cycles of healing where I can't get a traumatic event out of my head for awhile, and then I do a bunch of coping stuff, and then I get a break, and then my brain goes "ok time to process more trauma"
[trauma]
This actually kind of makes sense, because one theory for PTSD is that due to all the fight or flight stuff, your brain doesn't have time to integrate the traumatic memory in with your other memories
This actually kind of makes sense, because one theory for PTSD is that due to all the fight or flight stuff, your brain doesn't have time to integrate the traumatic memory in with your other memories
[trauma]
I had EMDR and it really helped for the memory I was dealing with at the time
No one really knows how EMDR works, but one hypothesis is that it helps you incorporate the traumatic memory in with the rest of your memories
I had EMDR and it really helped for the memory I was dealing with at the time
No one really knows how EMDR works, but one hypothesis is that it helps you incorporate the traumatic memory in with the rest of your memories
[trauma]
Also since I had EMDR, it's become possible to actually sort out a traumatic memory on my own (though I honestly have no idea how I do this) instead of just being stuck replaying one traumatic event forever
Also since I had EMDR, it's become possible to actually sort out a traumatic memory on my own (though I honestly have no idea how I do this) instead of just being stuck replaying one traumatic event forever
Anyway this is just to say that this is part of why we need more disabled people involved in creating films
Because the media version of flashbacks doesn't match my experience, it took me longer to get help for PTSD (or I guess maybe c-PTSD)
#FilmDis
Because the media version of flashbacks doesn't match my experience, it took me longer to get help for PTSD (or I guess maybe c-PTSD)
#FilmDis
Anyway apparently I'm currently in the stage where my brain is like "here's a bunch of unprocessed trauma" and I hate it, but at least I know wtf is happening by now
Because not knowing or knowing how to deal definitely makes it worse
Because not knowing or knowing how to deal definitely makes it worse
[PTSD, dissociation]
Also you know that thing when your brain decides to replay embarrassing moments for you at inconvenient times?
It's similar to that, but again I usually feel dissociated from my body when I shake myself out of the memory
Also you know that thing when your brain decides to replay embarrassing moments for you at inconvenient times?
It's similar to that, but again I usually feel dissociated from my body when I shake myself out of the memory
[PTSD, dissociation]
When I'm dissociating I rarely feel like I'm "floating above myself looking down"
It's more like I'm shifted six inches to the left of my body, and everything feels a little fuzzy around the edges like right before general anesthesia knocks you out
When I'm dissociating I rarely feel like I'm "floating above myself looking down"
It's more like I'm shifted six inches to the left of my body, and everything feels a little fuzzy around the edges like right before general anesthesia knocks you out
[PTSD, dissociation]
What tends to help is to focus on things around me, like for example naming things I can see or smell or touch or whatever works for you
I don't focus on my body, because really noticing the chronic pain just makes me dissociate harder
What tends to help is to focus on things around me, like for example naming things I can see or smell or touch or whatever works for you
I don't focus on my body, because really noticing the chronic pain just makes me dissociate harder
