I actually have a busy weekend so I don’t know why I want to do this but I’m gonna rate all my board games

It’s a thread!!

Machi Koro!!! 4/5 I could build my little town all day. But when I get ten bad rolls in a row it does feel personal and like the game hates me

Machi Koro expansions!!!

The Harbor: 3/5 it’s cute! Getting a coin if you have no money? Revolutionary

Millionaire’s Row: 0/5 we played a game and didn’t get a single chance to use the renovation mechanic so what is the point

SONORA: slaps. Flick lil discs around. Earn points in cute, convoluted ways. I have 0 idea what the story is supposed to be and I don’t care. 4/5

CAT LADY: I love the cute cat art (cats within are cuter than the cat on the box) but tbh I don’t find myself reaching for this one. I don’t want to hurt the cat’s feelings, it’s not BAD just not rad. 2/5

THE MIND: maddening. This game will ruin your life. 5/5

POINT SALAD: tbh this would be a 4/5 game because I do quite like it but my boyfriend @AlexNovhack once grossly misinterpreted the rules and everyone went by HIS INCORRECT RULE THAT MADE NO SENSE and I am mad at the creators for not writing better instructions. 1/5

THROW THROW BURRITO: it’s like Spoons...but with burritos. Hit your friends in the face with a burrito. 10/5 a perfect game

WING IT: fun in a group of four!! Use your wits and charm to argue your way out of tricky situations. By five people though the ratio of listening to other people’s solutions vs offering your own perfect, hilarious story is too unbalanced. 2.5/5

SKULL: slaps!! Out of print last time I checked but worth overpaying for a copy on eBay like I did. 5/5

HIGH SOCIETY: I spent the whole game thinking I was kicking ass and actually I didn’t understand the rules and lost really bad, 1/5

CODENAMES: look it’s a great game but I don’t understand why everyone is always so hyped to play codenames 3/5

STRANGER THINGS DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: I haven’t played this one and it is not technically mine but I love novelty things so 1980s/5

MACHI KORO LEGACYYYYY!!!! The PINNACLE of the Machi Koro games!! As you can tell I am crushing the competition so far, long live Zombie Island, 5/5

TAKENOKO: I would die for this panda. 4/5

HARRY POTTER MYSTERY AT HOGWARTS GAME: JKR is a terf and can get bent, but we absolutely stan this Mary Grandpré knock-off art 3/5

HP SCRABBLE: we still hate terfs, scrabble is fun though, 2.8/5

TWILIGHT IMPERIUM: I refuse to play this game. It takes literally all day and you can spend like five hours making a plan someone can casually destroy on a whim. I would CRY. 0/5

CHESS: the game to end all games. This set wobbles!!!! I found it in a shop when I first moved to the city and swore one day I would make enough money to afford it. dreams come true

JENGA: in college I worked the 12-2 am shift at the library and the custodian and I would play Jenga. 4/5, miss u Mauricio

7 WONDERS DUEL!!!! Slaps!!!! So nice to have a really exceptional two player game. I always find myself returning to this one, 7/5

CITADELS: no complaints, solid game, solid...like a well built citadel. 3/5

JAWS: caused a big fight with my roommate. Literally never been so mad lol. Intriguing gameplay though!! Unfortunately not worth the strife, 1/5

Ugh Twitter is trying to CUT ME OFF. The disrespect. The world needs this thread and I’m MAYBE halfway through

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE PARTY GAME!!!! So fun and charming!!!!! Such a pure, wonderful delight!!!! A gift from my friend KC who is an equal delight. @jennyhan 5/5, one point for each letter

BETRAYAL AT HOUSE ON THE HILL: it’s spooky and teaches the important lesson that you can trust no one and anyone can turn on you. 4/5

MYSTERIUM: possibly our most played game??? You’re a psychic receiving visions from a very spooky ghost. And there’s a soundtrack on YouTube. Get them a Grammy. I love this game 4/5

MYSTERIUM EXPANSION: I remember nothing about this, 2/5 I guess idk

SCYTHE: fun to get into some heavier games! This took like a half an hour to set up and @melschir and @OliviaValcarce wanted to make plans and I said “I’m sorry it is going to take me all day to learn this game” and I had a great time. 4/5

DINOSAUR ISLAND: it’s Jurassic Park except extremely brightly colored. Have failed to learn how to play and yet somehow I know I still like this game? 3/5

TERRAFORMING MARS: ah yes, we all agree what will drive the eventual terraforming of my second favorite planet...capitalism. 3.4/5 ->

THE TWILIGHT SAGA THREE GAME COLLECTION: given to me FOR FREE by Mr. E of Mr. E’s Game World, who couldn’t price it low enough to sell it. I love him. A prized possession. 5/5

SANTORINI: tbh pretty fun but doesn’t move my spirit, you know? 2/5

PHOTOSYNTHESIS: you play as a forest that just wants to grow the worst thing that happens to you in this game is you spend a day in shadow. So pure. Better played with fewer people though because otherwise it gets slow. 3.5/5

TAPESTRY: I desperately wanted to like it but this game was an absolute waste of like $70 and it weighs approx one million pounds. 1/5

RISING SUN: too heavy to lift off the shelf! This game took like four hours and that night we all DREAMED OF THE GAME. It’s like Risk but set in Japan and it inceptions its way into your mind and it’s all you can think about. V upsetting experience, 4.9/5, can’t wait to play more

SPIRIT ISLAND: too many games make you play as a colonizer and Spirit Island is literally called a “settler destruction strategy game.” Lesser, weaker games could NEVER!!! 5/5, very complicated, beautiful art

RISK LEGACY: the first time we ever played this @AlexNovhack and I created a ghost character because we needed a third person to play and Ghost Greg won the game we literally lost to a made up player. 2/5 I love Risk but that’s embarrassing

I have to go to bed so that I can truthfully say I didn’t stay up until 3 am doing this but I’ll finish this tomorrow. The people need to know how I’d rate bananagrams!!!!

PANDEMIC LEGACY: 2/5 too close to home at this time

MONOPOLY CHEATER’S EDITION: This one comes with lil handcuffs for if you get caught cheating. Also look, Monopoly is awesome, if you don’t like Monopoly you probably play by house rules that make the game too long. That’s on you. 3.5/5

TEN MINUTES TO KILL: this game isn’t even complicated but I never understand the rules. 2/5

SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM!!! Lie to your friends! Snuggle contraband into the city! I frickin love this game, 5/5

FOG OF LOVE: play your way through a romantic comedy! Will you two crazy kids manage to make it work? 3/5, super different concept. I’m not even putting this one back on the shelf, it’s worth playing this weekend

CAPTAIN SONAR: look this game is fun but do you know how hard it is to get EIGHT PEOPLE together for a board games they don’t already know how to play??? 1/5 this game taunts me

SETTLERS OF CATAN: I have to relearn the rules every single time we play but I am finally at a point where I can occasionally win. 3.5/5 a very nice game

HARRY POTTER HOGWARTS BATTLE: ...this game is amazing...play through all seven years of Hogwarts, defeat death eaters, pretend someone else wrote the books. 10-points-to-Gryffindor/5

HARRY POTTER CODENAMES: best used using one of the key cards from regular Codenames so this can be played competitively. 3/5

NEW MOON THE BOARD GAME: if only I had known Mr. E would one day come through and give me all the games for free I never would have bought this. 1/5 a waste of $6, but still what a great price, I love Half-Price Books

ENDER’S GAME BOARD GAME: another Mr. E’s Game World find...it has terrible reviews and I will honestly probably never play this but it was so deeply discounted I just wanted it. Orson Scott Card sucks even harder than this movie. 0/5 I should have just not bought this lol

EPIC SPELL WARS OF THE BATTLE WIZARDS: RUMBLE AT CASTLE TENTAKILL: everyone else loves this game but it is just not for me. 1/5

AVALON: social deduction games are cool but this art is butt ugly in my opinion. My shelves look so good and I have to hide this game at the bottom so it doesn’t ruin my aesthetic. 1/5, a big inconvenience

BANANAGRAAAAAAMS!!!!!!! 5/5, bananagrams never disappoints. Who decided it should be a banana???? It makes no sense I love it so much

HARRY POTTER TRIVIAL PURSUIT: it’s a fun game but I wish this were themed to the books instead of the movies. (That’s the beauty of the Mystery at Hogwarts Game, published in 2000!) 3/5

STAR REALMS: meh idk 1/5

LOVE LETTER: this game only has like 14 cards and it’s perfect. Get your love letter to the princess to win tokens of affection. But also if you get the princess in your hand you’ll be really annoyed. The lore isn’t strong but it’s a great game, 5/5

FUNEMPLOYED: it is a perfectly solid party game for large groups which is fine but my preferred game situation is typically like 4-5 people and a strategy game so 2/5

Oooh and now we’re getting into the games I own but my roommate borrowed to take to his parents’ house for two weeks...three months ago...ty COVID

EPIC SPELL WARS OF THE BATTLE WIZARDS: ANNIHILAGEDDON: okay this game is RIDICULOUS. Just so weird!!! I like to play without the mayhem cards which kind of defeats the point of the game but idc. 5/5 takes a long time but is v worth it

DECRYPTO: an absolute gem of a game!! Such clever mechanics! Time to be a spy!!! 4/5

SECRET HITLER: a game where you play as Hitler just doesn’t sit right with me and I know it’s supposed to teach you to about fascism or whatever but come on...no one is getting that from this game. It is EXTREMELY well made though, nice specs, 2/5

Okay I might have missed some but those are the games I currently own. I love games they’re such a special way to spend time with your friends, tell stories, and unlike screens they don’t even cause eye strain. Go pick up a game!