tw // abuse , grooming
.
.
.
alright thats it legit if you follow or support my abuser or their friends please just fucking block me. dont interact dont speak to me and dont defend them in my mentions or my dms.

@/thickestburns manipulated me, gaslit me, and groomed me for months. if you are friends with them or any of the people who continue to support them JUST HARDBLOCK ME.

when we met i was 12 and they were 15. we began dating when i turned 13 and they were like 2 momths from turning 16. so from the start there was a large age gap but idk if that was necessarily unhealthy cause it was only abt 3 years give or take a few months

i dont want to go into everything because this is a traumatizing subject for me but over the course of our relationship they consistently:
- gaslit me
- manipulated me
- ignored my mental illnesses & was extremely selfish, care more abt their happiness than my health

- consistently pressured me into sexual situations, turned even mundane conversations sexual with no provocation
- ignored me when i asked them to stop talking about sexual things, crossed boundaries constantly and made me feel like my consent was irrelevant

- guilt tripped me when discussing sexual trauma, pressured me into never ddiscussing grooming or age gaps
- constantly guilted me into not worryyng about the unhealthy sexual aspects of our relationship

i need to talk abbout that last one in detail. basically what they would do is like, for example once i said that our age gap mmight be unhealthy and they got EXTREMELY pissed at me, said it was terrifying them and that they were afraid of grooming me, threatened to leave me, etc

if idiscussed sexual trauma they would change the subject or make it about themselves, would start arguments for no reason just to avoid me even thinking about venting to them about it

they constantly made me feel like i was ruining thwir life, said that their friends and parents would think they wrre a pedo and disgusting if they knew abou me etc etc

they told me and showed me their friends making jokes about for example "haha but iff hes under 14 imma have to call chris hansen" (they were incredibly vague and always told their friends i was young but neglected to mention i was a middle schooler)

they would constantly talk about how they were afraid they were grooming me but still chose to continuee the relationship knowing it had that dynamic

and when it comes to the manipulation stuff theres a lot of crossover there

they would constantly blame me for their issues, say i wasnt doing enough for them,refused to get help from a therapist, and would place all of the responsibility for their mental state on me

for most of the relationship this wasnt a huge issue because unfortunately im used to people treating me this way, but over time my mental state grew worse and if i was unhappy at the same time at them they would blame me and lash out for not doimg enouh

for example in this conversation they got upset at me for being anxious and blamed me for the fact that they empathized and said that i shouldnt make it about myself, and when i confronted them they said that their standards were just too high

but then the very next day theeir 'high standards for themself' were disregarded, and they immediately blamed me for not paying attention to them less than 5 minutes after a rape flashback

i dont have a lot of receiptts for the grooming part so i know a lot of people arent going to believe me but i do have evidence that they gaslit and abused me at least
they and their friends also pressured me into deleting our chat logs a few weeks after our relationship ended

i also want to mention that we had these conversation safeword things that they would routinely ignore, like they would make me extremely uncomfortable and id make it clear that i wanted them to stop talking about nsfw thinggs but they would ignore me and continue anyways

like i said even mundane conversation topics turned sexual at the drop of a hat. they were extremely horny 24/7 around me and there were multiple times where i felt i was completely worthless and just a piece of meat they wanted to fuck

there were times where i could do something as simple as send a pic of my dog and theyd say shit like "okay but why did that bit of your leg make me horny skfkhkdmdkhks" and shit like that

and to clarify im not accusing them of rape or coercion... i wanna vomit admitting this but what happened was consensual even if it waa uncomfortable and manipulative and undernegotiated

when it came to actual sexual situations they respected my boundaries but when it came to conversations in general it would not stop... like if i didnt want to do anything sexual i wouldnt buit they would still +

send me paragraphs about how hot i am and shit like that even when iasked them to stop and it was uncomfortable as fuck

it felt like when i ended those situations they were constantly trying to get me to like... sstart again if that makes sense. they wouldnt take no for an answer and would constantly try to coerce me into just not expressing a lack of interest

as far as i know the main people who have defended them in the past and present are people named aksel, sol/alec, and zora (and nikos irls of course.) i dont remember their handles and im too shaken to post them right now but i know those names cause yknow, theyre triggers for me

my moirail and my close friends friends can vouch for this because i vented to them as it was happening but i didnt really talka bout the sexual stuff except for when theuy pressured me into certain kinks and also im sorry for typos my hands are shakng

alright so im able add to this now so there are a few things i wasnt aware of when making this thread
number one being, im not the only person who this has happened to. @rezimozzarelli recently contacted me to talk about how niko mistreated them while they were in a relationship

they also informed me that niko has apparently been lying to people about 1. my age 2. our relationship dynamic and 3. just my personality in general.

needless to say these screenshots do not accurately reflect me or our relationship dynamic and ill explain why

1. niko is lying about my age.

i was born november 8th 2006. they were born in january 2004 on the 18th i believe. they are abt 2 years and 10 months older than me. i am not 14, and the age difference is not 2 years. it is nearly 3 years. that's the first lie here.

2. niko is lying about our dynamic

i was not comfortable with the age gap. period. when i say they groomed me, i mean they groomed me. over the course of the relationship they pressured me into never talking about the age gap, my past sexual trauma, or even +

+ anxiety about talking to much older adults. like ive stated before, even something as simple as retweeting a tweet about grooming would be enough to set them off. something as simple as mentioning that i have been groomed in the past would be responded to with +

unwarranted verbal abuse, and the repetition of "im afraid that IM grooming you."

the subtext in these conversations was always "either you stop talking about this or you stop dating me."
i was attached, and depressed. so i talked about it less and less +

until not being allowed to talk about grooming or my past trauma was so ingrained in me that even now as i discuss the blatant grooming and manipulation that went on here, i have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for *days.*

what niko did was normalize that dynamic in my head. they purposefully manipulated me until i was so terrified of displeasing them that i still struggle to talk about my sexual trauma, despite having moved on years ago. this was not a problem before my relationship w niko.

3. niko is lying about my personality as a whole.

i think niko is trying to paint me in a way where it is easy for them, in their mind, to believe i was 'asking for it.' they are painting me as someone who desperately wants to be mature for my age +

and who needed to affirmation of others to love myself.
i'm not going to shit on anyone who is or was like that. i used to be, too. this might sound counterproductive but, i grew out of that.

yes, i have been neglected in the past. yes, i have been groomed in the past by people other than niko. but what niko is doing here is stereotyping me as a csa survivor, and trying to make the narrative that i begged for their attention.

the truth is, the phrase "im mature for my age" or "youre mature for your age" is related to actual trauma for me.
not only would it be extremely triggering, but that is not something i would ever say. that's a line ripped straight from a shitty psa about online grooming.

i am a child. i am immature. but i am not stupid, and if i ever said those words or anything like them out loud i would immediately stop talking and reexamine that relationship & its dynamics. nothing was *that* explicitly and stereotypically terrible at first sight.

knowing how other people have reacted to me talking about nikos abuse in the past, im sure this isnt the only person theyve pushed this narrative to.
anyways i dont have much more to say right now but niko is potentially a serial abuser. please block them and +

warn underage mutuals. i dont know if theyre specifically attracted to underage people or if they are just shitty and abusive to everyone in general but either way please stay safe.