Shortly after I retired I gave a presentation at USGF's Congress where I purposefully called out these types of coaching tactics and warned they were harmful and often irreparably damaging. Oh, they "work" I said, but to what end? When it finally backfires it will backfire badly. https://twitter.com/Pamchenkova/status/1288966023127937025

I remember telling a roomful of coaches they could yell, belittle, fear, shame & intimidate to force your gymnast to a desired result because they're more afraid of YOU than they are of any skill, score, competition or personal disappointment. You could have heard a pin drop.

I had heard it, seen it, experienced it, cried over it, crumbled at times, survived or even thrived in spite of it at times. Most important, I saw too many break under it and feel forced to walk away as if THEY had broken or shattered their dream themselves. THAT broke my heart.

I also remember during that presentation looking around and thinking the worst culprits of this toxic dynamic, the very ones who most need to hear this, are not here listening so I might as well spit into the wind.

Coaches, it's time to take a long, hard look back and see the collateral damage, hold a mirror up to yourself and reflect. It's only unforgivable if you can't even acknowledge it, be truly sorry, and ask to be forgiven. Grace is something we gymnasts do well, even under stress.

To be crystal clear, some coaches need to and deserve to be kicked out and banned from the sport and the awesome privilege & responsibility of working with children and adolescents. There are many who should listen, learn, apologize and change, and some who deserve our grace.

I'll share a direct quote from a coach to me that may sound horrible, perhaps even abusive, at first glance. It was made during a meet I should NEVER have been allowed, much less expected, to compete in.

It was 1978, 4 months after destroying my elbow. I had just peeled off bars and had two events to go on little to no training. I had packed up to walk out.

"Why don't you stand up and tell everyone here how good you used to be and quit."

Hurt, angry tears filled my eyes...

It was a terrible thing to hear. It kept me from quitting, though, & put some fight back into me. The more damaging abuse was that which lead me to nearly break my neck months before and badly break & dislocate my elbow a week later. The abuse was making me compete in this meet.

That horrible year changed me forever & altered the course of my gymnastics completely. Before I ever put on a USA leotard. People wondered where the emotion in my dance came from, why I was so quick to tears, why my weight, confidence, ability & mental strength swung wildly.

I spent the rest of my career blaming myself, trying to fix myself and get back what I lost. Or at least come as close as possible. It's why I continue to fight for change. I know what broken feels like and I don't want others to feel it.

Final thought on this thread. Many gymnasts, regardless of competition level or era, have good & bad experiences intertwined so tightly it can be emotionally exhausting to separate them & feel like an attack on all that was good & feeling ungrateful for hard-earned life lessons.

The purpose of sharing painfully personal stories is to support abuse survivors, amplify the voices of those willing to stand up, speak out, unite & advocate for culture change, transparency & accountability within our sport's governing bodies & weed out the bad to grow the good.