Cam boy Bakugou with a food fetish that degrades his viewers while cooking or doing weird shit with food, it's happening lmao get ready.

CW: Kiribaku, NSFW, food play, wet and messy, degradation, praise

Kiri got home late after work with take-out because he didn't want to cook.

It wasn't the best and he didn't really want it but it was food and there was /no way/ he was cooking at 1am.

He was flicking through the channels and absent mindedly and came across a show called, "cooking for dumbasses." On one of the gay adult channels, which was /weird/ but okay.

He could do with learning to cook better stuff for himself in all honesty, so he clicked it on and sat back with his container of noodles.

The show started and a smoking hot blond /stormed/ onto the screen and slammed a hand down on the counter to practically snarl, +

"sup, bitch. Hope you're ready to learn something 'cause I'm gonna /ram/ this recipe down your useless fucking throat until you choke on it." And then he /grinned/ and holy fuck it was slow, self assured and down right /sinful/.

Eijirou realised his mouth was hanging open when a few noodles hit his shirt and fell into his lap. He swallowed his mouthful quickly and grabbed a tissue to wipe his crotch as the guy introduced himself, +

"I'm Katsuki Bakugou and this is Cooking for Dumbasses. So pay fucking attention to me, get your hand out your pants and learn something for a change."

Eijirou couldn't take his eyes off Bakugou as the blond lifted a hand to pop the top button on his pressed blue shirt. Just the one. His mouth was dry and he never in his life thought he'd like being degraded through the tv by a sexy, angry cooking show host, but here he was.

There was no way this show was real. Absolutely no way was there an audience for this incredibly niche program.

He'd totally fallen asleep in his noodles and he was having a fever dream, wasn't he?

When Bakugou started chopping vegetables with lightning speed and incredible efficiency, Eijirou was too awed for a moment to even blink.

And then the blond looked right into the camera and pointed the knife out like it was a threat, "use the flat front of your fingers to stop yourself getting cut. Or... I'll cut /you/." He growled and reached to pop another button on his shirt.

Bakugou leaned across the island counter he was working on and ran the tip of his tongue along his top row of teeth, "want more, loser? Fucking /pay up/. The full video is..."

Eijirou had never purchased what he seriously hoped was actually porn so fast in his whole life.

It looked like it was definitely an adult film when Katsuki took a cucumber and, after dicing some for a chopped side salad, turned the thing around and rammed half of what remained straight into his mouth with his eyes on the camera, +

+ staring straight into Eijirou's soul as he started sucking it off with the filthiest of moans.

"Holy shit..." Eijirou snatched open his trousers and shoved them down hastily with his boxers to mid thigh.

Katsuki popped off the cucumber a few minutes later, lips and chin wet with saliva as he panted. His eyes had dropped to half mast and his one hand had disappeared below the counter top. He was clearly palming himself over his trousers and apron.

Was Katsuki going to fuck himself? Was there another guy there that was going to fuck him instead?

Eijirou didn't like the idea of the second one, but god with the point of view of the camera and the way the blond was talking it would be so easy to imagine it was his own cock if that was what was gonna happen.

It didn't. If there was a cameraperson there they kept their hands and junk to themselves. But by the end of the video, Katsuki was wearing nothing but a short black apron with an orange X across the top part, sitting on the counter to lift the hem and show off his pretty cock.

He took a carton of what looked like cream and poured it over his dick to run down and pool between his spread legs before taking himself in hand.

“You like the look of this white stuff between my legs, don't you? Well that's as close as you're gonna get to actually seeing your come inside me. Fucking extra.” Katsuki's head dropped back and they both moaned at the same time.

Eijirou dug the fingers of his free hand into his own thigh and sped up to match the blond's pace, biting his lip to hold off.

“You wanna lick this cream off my cock like a good bitch?” Bakugou teased from the television and Eijirou practically whimpered and nodded his head as he fought to keep his eyes open so he didn't miss anything.

“Oh fuck. I'm gonna come. Watch me come when you can't even touch me.” Katsuki growled and threw back his head as a low, desperate moan broke from him.

His fist stuttered a few times before come burst from the tip of his cock and splattered all up his apron and down to join the puddle of cream under his ass as he huffed a relieved breath and composed himself for a few seconds.

Eijirou watched, chest heaving, his own hand soaked as come cooled on his face and he tried to catch his own breath. He'd blown the moment Katsuki's hand had stuttered the first time because he knew it meant his orgasm was imminent and he couldn't hold off another second.

Katsuki reached up and licked a long stripe over his palm to his fingers before swallowing come and cream, half lidded eyes looking straight out at Eijirou again.

“Thanks for that, dumbass. Now fuck off, I wanna eat my dinner.” He flipped off the camera with a still dripping hand and the film ended with short credits and a website where more videos were available.

Well, Eijirou's bank account was about to take a battering. Along with his dick.

When Eijirou checked out the website after washing his hands, all it said beneath a picture of Katsuki with cream all over his face, in his mouth and dripping from his chin was +

/‘I have a food fetish, what’d yah want from me? Buy my videos and I might make one pretending I actually want to fuck you. Bitch.'/

Well god damn, this guy was intense.

And he cooked too, Eijirou found out after making himself an account at the lowest rewards tier for the time being.

There were actual recipes for a lot of fun looking meals, some of them accompanied with pictures of the blond licking his fingers clean of ingredients or…oh wow, actually fucking a pie…

He scrolled through the gallery first and found himself rock hard but exhausted as he climbed into bed an hour later, staring at the image of Katsuki sitting on a corn cob dildo absolutely plastered with cheesecake.

He'd started out his day without a food or degradation kink but he fell asleep thinking about begging a hot blond guy he didn't even know to let him suck his dirty fingers clean of come and cheesecake while being called a little bitch.

He…might have fucked up choosing to purchase that video. Just a little.

Oh yeah, Eijirou had definitely messed up, he realised after spending three whole hours of his rare day off work laying in bed watching Katsuki do nasty weird things with food and belittle him through his phone screen.

He ignored his cock as long as he could, but couldn't keep his hand off it when he bought a video called, ‘I love being sticky so much I’m not even mad at you this time. Perv.’

Katsuki must have set the camera up on the counter or something to look down at him as he lined himself up on a suction cup dildo on the floor in his kitchen and sank down.

Once he was seated he tipped an entire pack of six ice lollies out beside him and opened the ends of the plastic wrappers so he could grab them whenever, before taking a blue one and sliding it all the way back into his throat as he started rocking.

Before long most of the first Popsicle had melted and Katsuki's entire chin ran with sticky blue as he grabbed for a red one to stuff in his mouth at the same time.

There was so much syrup dripping and drooling from the corners of his lips Eijirou was sure he wasn't even eating the treats.

A second later Katsuki was sliding the blue stained stick from his mouth and tossing it aside with a gargling moan as he fucked his face faster with the red ice lolly until purple ran down his face to drip down his neck.

He slurped, choked and groaned and Eijirou stared, utterly transfixed as he tried to work his cock as slowly as possible so he could wait until the blond came.

“It's so fucking hot today, I bet you wish you could help me cool off, huh? Loser.” Red ice hit the floor with a splat and two more were snatched out, orange and yellow.

Katsuki shoved the yellow one in his mouth and left it there as he yanked the stick from orange and smashed it against his chest.

He smeared rapidly melting syrup all over his pecs and down defined abs until his cold, orange slush covered hand wrapped around his cock and his eyes rolled back in his head for a moment.

Katsuki pulled the yellow treat from his mouth with a wet pop and looked directly into the camera to lick his sugar coated rainbow stained lips, +

“I wish I could put them inside myself for you. I bet you’d like that, wouldn't you? I'd be all sticky inside, riding your face to make you clean me back up like the /good/ little bitch you are-”

Eijirou hadn't expected that tiny bit of praise to completely blindside him the way it did, but his eyes shot wide and a moan punched from him with force as come burst out of him to lash all over his pyjamas and beside him on the bed.

He collapsed in a breathless heap as Katsuki's panting grew more ragged and desperate. He looked down in time to see the blond spilling all over himself with another blue Popsicle pressed against his cock as he worked himself furiously.

Katsuki dropped forward and spat a huge mouthful of syrup on the floor so he could finally catch his breath, before easing off the dildo and lifting a sticky hand to smooth one side of his sweaty hair back.

“Get lost then. I don't need you anymore.” He said with a breathless grin as he looked right into the camera and the video ended abruptly as they always did after he threw one last insult.

Eijirou was definitely gonna get his money's worth out of that video, that's for damned sure.

He was already contemplating going again when the loud sound of a truck backing up outside had him grumbling to himself and rising to wash in the sink before heading out to the gym to maybe work off some of this new horny energy he had going on.

When he got back home there was still a moving van outside with a small blond guy behind the wheel wearing a red cap set backwards on his head, blowing bubbles with gum.

A woman with purple cropped hair with one side shaved and stretchers in her ears walked out of the apartment directly above Eijirou's and rolled her eyes, before making her way down the stairs as Eijirou drew level with the van.

“Denki goddamn Kaminari, get out and help, we're nearly done and I'm hungry.” She demanded, a hand on her hip and an exasperated look on her face as she opened the cab door and the man whined.

“I'm too tired Jirou~ can't I just take a nap for like ten minutes?” He asked, hands held up like he was praying.

“Heya! New neighbours? Do you need a hand with anything? I'm not busy right now.” Eijirou offered helpfully and smiled at the two. They seemed like a nice enough couple.

Jirou turned and they both looked up at him as the man, Kaminari? Climbed from the truck. “Us? Oh, no we aren't moving in. We just got roped into helping carry heavy boxes and wrestling sofas, you know how it is.” She said and gave a small smile.

“Ah yeah, I get asked a lot ‘cause yanno-” he broke off and flexed a bicep with a warm laugh and the pair's jaws dropped simultaneously.

The blond gave a low whistle and laughed as he stepped towards the back of the van, “dude if you're that jacked and willing, you can totally carry a box or two up. Carry /me/ up too if you want, my back is killing.”

“Kaminari, will you just for /one minute/ not think with your-” Jirou cut off as a loud shout echoed down from the upstairs balcony and Eijirou jumped, eyes blowing wide for all of a second before he turned to look up.

But the owner of the angry voice had already stormed back into their apartment.

“Yeah, he's kind of a dick, so have fun with that.” Kaminari snorted and then mock pouted, “asshole used to kick me out the apartment like once a week for a few hours like some loner hermit. /And/ he shouts a lot.”

“And you're literally trashing him to a new neighbour already, /why/?” Jirou sounded exasperated as she rolled her eyes again but the little blond just laughed.

“Cause it's fun.” He said simply, but his phone rang a moment later and he answered it as he hopped into the back of the truck and groaned,+

“literally the sofa cushions and ‘fragile’ box he said we can't touch are left! He's doing this shit himself. Hey Midoriya! Yeah nah, Kacchan is just prowling around organising stuff and slapping our hands away from his shit.”

There was scraping and a huff before Kaminari jumped out the back of the vehicle and turned to Eijirou, phone to his ear as he smiled, +

“nah, I don't think we need help, I found a hunk. I don't think even the gremlin could be mad at /this/ face for touching his stuff.” He winked and Eijirou's face flamed as he made an involuntary choking sound.

“I'm sorry about him, he has maybe two brain cells and he uses both of them to flirt and accidentally electrocute himself as often as possible. Just flick him in the face and he’ll probably fall over.” +

+ Jirou said over her shoulder as she hopped into the back of the van and grabbed a couple of sofa cushions.

She threw them one after the other at Kaminari when the blond turned to shoot her an indignant glare, while Eijirou tried to smother a laugh at his expense when they hit him in the face and he really did nearly fall.

Jirou called him over and asked his name as she moved to kneel behind a large box sealed to all hell with bright orange tape; the words, ‘Break this shit and DIE!’ written in large angular letters in black permanent marker.

Jirou grunted as she pushed it forward to the edge of the truck bed.

“Kirishima. Eijirou Kirishima, it's nice to meet you. Do you want me to get that one? It looks a little heavy.” +

He offered and Jirou huffed and gave her name despite the fact that Kaminari had already whined it a couple of times to complain.

She stood up and grabbed an arm full of cushions and an inflatable pool in a smallish clear package with a handle.

“Please. I don't even know how he lifted it before. It's full of camera equipment or something so if it's too heavy don't struggle to take it up, that asshole will murder us all.”

She climbed down and waited as Eijirou tucked the handle of the bag full of his dinner into the crook of his arm and bent at the knees a little to lift the box.

“It's heavy, but it's totally fine. I bench more than this, easy.” He assured and hefted it a little higher, following behind Jirou after she awkwardly locked the truck.

Three floors of stairs was tough after a good two hours at the gym, but he made it up fine and followed just into the hallway of his new upstairs neighbour’s new home and carefully set the box down.

The front door was propped open with two caterer sized bags of chocolate disks.

“You're the devil incarnate sometimes, but man you feed us so good. Can I have another-”

A literal /growl/ sounded from the direction of the kitchen and Eijirou's eyebrows shot up as Jirou dumped the cushions on the floor and wiped her brow. She thanked him and shouted that everything was up.

“I still need to get-”

“Nah, we got your new neighbour to help, I'm going home. Gimme those spinach puffs you promised me already.”

“YOU LET A STRANGER TOUCH MY SHIT??”

“Aaand that's my queue to leave, catch you round~” Eijirou laughed nervously and made his exit before his growly new neighbour could come after him.

He made it down to his apartment unchecked and dumped his groceries on the kitchen counter and in the fridge, before heading into the living room to clean up his take out containers from the night before.

Eijirou hadn't even finished all his food, but after cleaning himself up last night he'd been more interested in scrolling through Katsuki's website and making an account.

He’d gotten hungry looking at the recipes and the blond's lewd photos, so he'd stuffed the fried chicken in his mouth instead of the noodles and got ready for bed.

Eijirou wanted to watch that ice lolly video he’d bought access to before his roommate and best bro got home, so he rushed around making sure the place was tidy and headed to quickly take the rubbish out, already anticipating watching the gorgeous blond making a mess of himself.

He opened the front door and had to bite back a disappointed groan as his eyes fell upon Tetsutetsu distractedly rooting around in his pocket for his keys, an overnight bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hey man, I didn't expect you back until later.” Eijirou smiled.

Tetsu’s head snapped up and a bright grin lit his face, “bro, I missed you!” He grabbed for him to embrace him in a manly hug that Eijirou immediately returned with a chuckle.

“Oh my god, there's two of them.” Kaminari’s voice echoed from the stairwell and they broke apart to look over. The tiny blond fanned himself exaggeratedly and grinned, +

“be still beating heart. Brothers or boyfriends…?” he asked pointedly, almost immediately receiving a smack upside the head from Jirou as she walked past him and over to Eijirou holding two small Tupperware.

“Get in the truck and stop harassing people, we've gotta take it back.” Then to Eijirou she said, “ignore the note, whatever it says. He's totally saying thank you. Catch ya round.” She handed him one of the tubs and waved to them both as she followed Kaminari down the stairs.

“Dude, what was that all about? Who's saying thanks?” Tetsutetsu asked, a confused look on his face as he looked between Eijirou and the stairwell the pair had just disappeared down.

“New neighbour, I carried a box up to help. He seemed kinda mad, but I guess not.” Eijirou shrugged and handed the tub to his bro, “take this in for me, I gotta take out the trash. Oh, and the shower is mine first.” He added as he walked past.

He’d showered at the gym, but the sound of the water would cover up the fact he was totally gonna be jerking it in the early afternoon like a horny teen that had just discovered their junk. Because he was still /definitely/ watching that video again.

Eijirou was as quiet as he could be, earphones in and a cold shower running as he fisted himself quickly to Katsuki’s sticky, mess covered body until he was coming all over his thankfully bare abs this time.

His head thudded against the back of the toilet cistern as he caught his breath raggedly, before he clicked the ‘updates’ tab on Katsuki’s website as come cooled on his skin.

The only new thing read: /no full video for a few days. I'm busy as shit right now. So be good for me. Or don't. I don't mind smacking a bitch/.

The replies on it were mostly pretty cringy and needy, so Eijirou pressed back and chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment.

Katsuki's website was set up in a way bottom tiers had access to his recipes and most of his stills, a few of his less lewd videos and his status updates.

But full users had a lot more content. More videos without ‘unlocking’ them. And they could even get notifications if Katsuki was going to do a live video too.

Ah damn.

Eijirou upgraded to a top tier just as T banged on the bathroom door. He shot up and cleaned himself quickly as he shouted that he was almost done, more than a little embarrassed.

Later that night, as Eijirou settled into bed a notification for a live video popped up.

He clicked it immediately.

It was Katsuki, in the dark, grinning smugly as he caught his breath.

“I had a rough day, but I needed a little something to take the edge off. Too bad you weren't here to help. Actually-” he moved the clearly phone camera back and it showed black pillows beneath his head as Katsuki lifted an orange into view beside his face.

It was… holy shit he'd /fucked/ it!

There was juice and come all over Katsuki’s hand and the orange, and the fruit had almost collapsed in on itself with the thick hole that had been cut through it.

“-I didn't need your help. But you could clean up for me…” he brought the orange to his lips and licked a wet stripe up come and juice, before tonging the hole he'd fucked through.

“Like the /loser/ you are.” He finished, looking straight into the camera and flashing his teeth in a smug smirk, before the video cut off.

Holy fuck.

Eijirou had to be up early to get to the station for six, but he threw the duvet off himself and closed his eyes, imagining himself cleaning that damned orange with his tongue as the blond watched.

He came so fast it would have normally embarrassed him, but right then he didn't care.

He fell back against his bed with a breathless laugh as he lifted his come soaked hand to stare at it in the muted moonlight filtering in from his mostly drawn curtains.

A man he didn't even know had him by the /balls/.

And he honestly didn't think he cared.

Eijirou got up to head to the bathroom to clean himself up, but his stomach growled as he finished.

Oh right, his new neighbour had totally given him something in that Tupperware.

Hopefully it was nicer than the shop bought katsu curry sauce he'd used to make dinner earlier.

He padded through into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out the little tub. He cracked the top and lifted the note, even as he grabbed a folded pastry and took a bite.

The note read: you didn't break my shit, so I won't break your face.

Thanks, I guess.

Eijirou would have laughed, if he hadn't been so focused on the glorious flaky pastry and thick, creamy spinach filling that filled his mouth right then. Holy fuck this guy could cook. Even cold out of the fridge the spinach puff was /perfect/.

Eijirou ate all four of them like a starved man and headed back to the bathroom to brush his teeth so he could get back in bed.

The next three days Eijirou was worked off his feet. He had to spend a night at the fire station on call, and there were more fires than usual. But it was barbecue season, so he'd expected it.

He finally got a good night's sleep and jerked off to a video of Katsuki his top tier access allowed him to watch for ‘free’.

The blond had taught him how to make a bechamel sauce and then, when it cooled, he stripped naked and poured it all over himself and fisted his cock until he was coming into a puddle of white, glossy sauce on his kitchen floor.

He licked his lips clean and stuffed his fingers into his mouth, before telling Eijirou to fuck off like he always did. The video cut to black while Eijirou's nostrils flared with heavy breaths as he came down.

He looked through Katsuki's recipes until he found one for spinach puffs. It was accompanied by an image of the gorgeous blond licking cream cheese off his fingers with a sultry, almost angry look on his face.

At the bottom of the recipe was a note that read: /don't be stupid and make your own puff pastry, it's a goddamn ball ache. Just ‘cause I showed you how doesn't mean you gotta do it. Fuck-wad./

Okay, cool. So he didn't have to make the pastry from scratch! That made everything so much easier.

Eijirou just wanted something at least a little close to what his neighbour had given him as a thank you a few days ago. They were so damned good.

Actually…

Eijirou decided he should say thank you back.

He was no cook or baker, but he worked so often he rarely got a chance to spend his paycheck on anything other than take out, porn, and protein shakes.

He worked out in his spare time to keep himself jacked, but he could do most of his exercises at the station where they had a small gym to keep the fire fighters occupied when on call.

He stopped by a bakery and looked over the cakes on display with a small smile. He wouldn't have made it himself, but it was still a nice thought.

He could welcome his new neighbour to the apartment block, say sorry for touching his stuff, and thank you for the spinach puffs. It was perfect.

Eijirou walked home with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. He opened his front door and put the ingredients for the spinach puffs in the fridge, before grabbing the washed Tupperware and placing it carefully atop the cake box and heading back out.

He rang the doorbell, hoping his neighbour was in, and tapped his foot as he waited.

A few moments later the door yanked open and Eijirou's whole world turned upside down.

“What??” Snapped a /gorgeous/ blond…Katsuki, glaring up at him until his brows rose in surprise and he drew back a little. He frowned a moment later, clearly confused, “who the hell are you?”

“K-k-Kacchan-” Eijirou corrected himself quickly to the name he'd heard Kaminari call him before, “I'm- fuck. I'm your-” +

Biggest fan? I've jerked off to your jizz face? I know what your dick looks like? Holy fuck can I lick your shoes? “-Downstairs neighbour.”

Eijirou took a deep breath and willed his heart to stop trying to hammer through his ribs as Katsuki raised a brow and the corner of his top lip curled up.

“Twenty seven, huh?” His gaze /scraped/ down Eijirou's body, rough and abrasive and calculating, before a smirk kicked up the corner of the blond's lip, +

"/don't/ call me Kacchan. The name’s Katsuki Bakugou. Those idiots told me you were jacked, but they d’aint say you were hot too. What's in the box, twenty seven?”

Eijirou's tongue was too big for his mouth for several seconds and Katsuki frowned at him, unimpressed. He needed to tell the man his name, so he wasn't just remembered for the number of his apartment!

He finally got a hold of himself and plastered a friendly smile on his face, “Eijirou Kirishima. And uhh, I got you a ‘welcome to the block’ cake. I- I washed the tub you sent. +

+ Thanks…thanks for the spinach puffs, they're the best I've ever tasted…” he trailed off as he fought a flush. He had to go. Like, /now/.

Katsuki /goddamn/ Bakugou was his new upstairs neighbour. The man he'd spent half a week almost obsessively jerking off to every chance he got. Shit. Fuck. Hecking-

“...You got me a cake?” Katsuki asked, annoyed expression falling from his face instantly, only to be replaced with an excited smile as his eyes flicked between the box and Eijirou's rapidly warming face,

“you got me a fucking /cake/? Hah.” Katsuki's fingers brushed Eijirou's as the blond took the box from him almost gently, still grinning.

“Yeah. Uhh, I hope you enjoy it man. I'll, I'll see you around, yeah?” Eijirou stepped back and Katsuki sent him a slow, confident smirk that made his knees weak, before looking him up and down again.

“Oh, I'm gonna enjoy the /fuck/ outta this. Thanks. Maybe I'll send you something else to eat sometime, Kirishima.” Katsuki stepped back and closed the door with a decisive thud and Eijirou went into meltdown as he rushed back to his own apartment.

Holy fuck.

He'd- he's given Katsuki Bakugou a /cake/.

/He'd given a cake fucker a cake!! That smirk- that- he'd given a guy with a food fetish a goddam cake/.

Holy crap… was he gonna fuck it or eat it?

Eijirou desperately wanted both. And he wanted to watch.

/Shit/.

Eijirou was still panicking as he darted into his apartment and slammed the door shut before leaning against it.

What if he fucked that cake?

Wait. What if he /didn't/? He had no way of knowing what the blond chose to do with his gift, but he really hoped Katsuki at least appreciated the cake either way.

He tried to busy himself for the next couple of hours until Tetsutetsu told him to sit the hell down because he was getting annoying pacing around constantly and moving things around.

He sat down and tried to concentrate on the tv, but his phone dinged halfway through Tetsu’s favourite cop drama and he shot to his feet, face red as he realised it was the sound of a live video notification from Katsuki’s website.

Oh god.

He didn't even answer his bro when he called to ask him where he was going.

Eijirou locked his bedroom door and had his trousers halfway to his knees by the time he grabbed his earphones and threw himself down on the bed. His heart pounded in his chest as he clicked the video.

“Sup bitch. Miss me?” Katsuki practically sneered into the camera as he picked up a box, /the box/, and set it down on the floor, “turns out I've got a really hot neighbour and he gave me this earlier.” Katsuki smiled smugly and Eijirou gulped.

He'd just called him hot. Katsuki had just told his entire audience that he was hot!

Katsuki pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, before hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his tight jeans to slide them down his legs. He wasn't wearing underwear.

“I'm gonna fuck it while I picture his tight ass. And /you're/ gonna watch me imagine I'm with someone that isn't you.”

His voice was different to the way he spoke in real life, smoother but still somehow rough, quieter than his angry shouting and snapping, and absolutely /dripping/ with sin as he flashed his teeth in another grin and knelt on the floor.

Eijirou's cock could have broken actual wood with how hard he felt it swell as the blond opened the box and folded the sides down flat against the floor and said, “oh fuck. He's a /good/ boy. I'm gonna enjoy this.” Then licked his lips.

The top!

https://twitter.com/foolish_fortuna/status/1288861708442836993?s=21

Oh god.

Good boy. Katsuki had called him a /good boy/.

Eijirou's cock twitched so violently it came up off his stomach entirely and then dropped back down. He wet his lips and resisted the urge to touch himself as his breathing became shallow.

Katsuki skimmed two fingers through vanilla buttercream and stuck his tongue out. His eyes closed as he licked to test the flavour, before he moaned and slid his fingers into his mouth to suck them clean noisily.

There was a chat kind of thing at the bottom of the video and viewers messages started popping up rapidly.

/Jenna69: God I wish I was that cake rn.

Big_Dick_Dave: Fucking hell I’m already rock hard.

Jenna69: donated $30/

/I-Suck-Bananas: Come all over that cake Bakugou!

Big_Dick_Dave: oh you KNOW he will m8.

DeGrAdE mE dAdDy: he should call his neighbour up and make him watch too./

/Big_Dick_Dave: If I was his neighbour I'd be begging on my knees just to lick the cake off his dick once he's done./

Oh fuck. If only.

Eijirou moaned, even as he dismissed the chat bar to give Katsuki his full attention as two more people donated. The blond was licking more buttercream off his fingers, smirking at the camera as he pulled them out his mouth slowly, shiny with saliva.

“Watch me, /simp/. And remember, this ain't for you this time. You're lucky I'm even letting you watch.” He said, tone firm and decisive.

Eijirou shivered and bit his bottom lip. No, this video was totally for him, /about/ him.

He would have grabbed his prostate massager so he could imagine his hot neighbour railing him, but he was already dangerously close to coming and Katsuki hadn't even started fucking the cake yet.

Katsuki turned his attention to his newest fuck toy and smirked at it, before sticking two fingers straight into the edge of the cake, sinking them in diagonally.

He pulled them out and bit his lip, visibly fighting a shiver as he started finger fucking the lucky thing, probably to make himself a hole to play with.

He slapped his other hand down lightly in buttercream and dragged it across the top, before he reached down to wrap it around his rock hard cock.

“Wonder if that guy likes it messy?” He mumbled to himself as he worked himself slowly and Eijirou straight up /whined/ as he nodded rapidly and grabbed his own length.

He didn't move his hand yet though, simply palming himself as Katsuki pulled two curled fingers out of the cake and stuck them in his mouth with another filthy moan.

“Fucking…chocolate with vanilla frosting. I could suck this right off his cock. And none of you would get to watch. Losers.” +

He was actually talking like he had more than one person in his audience this time, and it made Eijirou feel really damn special that the whole video was about his gift and the blond was blatantly dismissing the rest of his viewers.

And he'd honestly never thought about smearing cake on his dick before in his life, but he'd do it in a heartbeat just to know what that sinful mouth felt like around him.

Katsuki stopped fisting himself and shifted forward, spreading his knees wide as he brought the cake closer with both hands. His fingertips dug into the sides as he sheathed himself with a low groan and dropped his head back.

“Oh fuck yeah. You filthy pervs have no idea how good this feels right now. I haven't fucked a cake in a while.” His head came up slowly and a wicked grin split his face as he stared right out at Eijirou, +

“it's even better that it's a gift and he has no idea what I'm doing to it.” He flicked the tip of his tongue over a short sharp canine and rolled his hips.

Fuck. Oh fucking-

Eijirou couldn't even stop himself as his hand began to move, up and down in time with Katsuki's shallow thrusts.

He didn't speed up when the blond did, but his mouth fell open and he heard himself literally panting as Katsuki dropped forward to support himself on one slippery hand with a grunt as he fucked harder.

Katsuki's other hand dug into the side of the cake, fingers sinking through buttercream into moist chocolate sponge as he let out another desperate moan and bared perfect teeth. He was so focused on fucking the thing that he was completely ignoring the camera now.

His cheeks and collar bone were flushed with arousal and his eyes slipped shut as he bit his bottom lip and groaned, “yeah, like that baby.” And his hips stuttered for a moment, before his eyes snapped open and he blinked like he'd completely forgotten where he was for a second.

He looked down at the cake, still entirely focused on it as his fingers dug in deep, before he was ripping a chunk out the side and bringing it to his face.

Crumbs and icing smeared all over his lips, cheeks and chin as he stuffed a handful of the treat into his mouth and moaned around it, eyes rolling back in pleasure as he thrust faster.

And then he was like some sort of animal, shifting up a little so he had two hands, grabbing the cake with both and yanking it closer still, scooping icing off the sides roughly.

He smeared it over his lips and down his neck to a muscular pec, teasing his nipple with dirty fingers as he stuffed his other hand in his mouth to suck four digits clean.

“Fuck. You're gonna make me blow.” He told the cake, and Eijirou groaned because Katsuki had already said he was imagining the thing was his ass. He sped up just a little, spreading the pre come practically drooling from him as he huffed a heavy breath through his nose.

“God. Shit, so fucking /good/.” His sultry tone from his other videos was gone, his voice rough and gravelled like he usually spoke. He sounded almost angry, possessive and base, as though his only goal in life was to ruin that cake.

Another chunk ripped away and Katsuki stuffed his mouth with a /growl/, thigh muscles and abs flexing and tensing as he snapped his hips forward almost brutally over and over until the cake could barely keep its shape anymore.

The blond slapped a hand to the top of it and snapped, “stay fucking /still/, I'm almost done.” Like he was talking to a person and Eijirou felt heat shoot through his stomach at the fire in that commanding tone.

It was too late to stop himself as he hurtled towards the edge rapidly and his breath froze in his lungs. His hips were already lifting from the bed as Katsuki’s breath hitched and his hips stilled suddenly, before a loud, relieved cry ripped from him.

Eijirou exploded as the echo of both the video and Katsuki's actual cry sounded from the apartment above and come burst from him in thick ribbons.

Some hit his face and he closed one eye as he worked himself through his release jerkily, gritting his teeth so he didn't moan too loudly.

Katsuki collapsed forward to a filthy, sticky hand over the cake as his chest heaved. He was covered in buttercream and chocolate crumbs and a slow grin split his face as he gave a breathless chuckle and finally looked back up at the camera.

“Oops. Got a little carried away there, I wonder if he heard? In my defence, it's a /really/ good fucking cake.” Katsuki snickered and pulled out, before digging his fingers into the top of the thing, pulling it apart as he turned the box it was on around.

Come leaked out and pooled on the cardboard, “look how much I came. Too bad you're not here to clean up after me, huh? Catch you round, pervs. Give me your money. Especially if you just came.” Katsuki stood and leaned over to turn the camera off or cut the feed, however it worked

The video cut off on a close up shot of the blond’s cake and come covered, softening cock as a click sounded.

“Jesus Christ.” Eijirou whispered and dropped his phone to the bed as he blindly grabbed for tissues so he could clean his face. He'd come /everywhere/.

And his dick addled brain hadn't been smart enough to tell him to take his dumb shirt off before jerking off without tissues to catch his load. He rolled his eyes at himself and sat up, pulling the soiled material over his head after taking out his earphones.

He flopped back down after using his shirt to wipe his hand, tossing it across the room into his washing basket, before opening the chat to take a look.

/Jenna69: Oh my god, his voice! He sounds like an animal. I want him to tell me I'm a bad girl like that.

Jenna69: Donated 10$

I-Suck-Bananas: Right?? He doesn't talk like that normally. I wanna be his neighbour.

Big_Dick_Dave: holy fuck B is into it rn./

/Big_Dick_Dave: Donated 20$

PopsicleBitch123: Donated $15

Big_Dick_Dave: oh fuck he told it not to-

OralFixation: I love one man.

I am baby: oh god that was so hot. Thank you Bakugou!

I am baby: Donated 50$

DeGrAdE mE dAdDy: Donated 20$/

/Big Red: Donated 30$/

Eijirou closed the tab as more donations popped up and blew out a breath in a rush. Shit. He'd have given more, but he had to think about his savings instead of his dick for once.

He found himself laughing under his breath at himself as he rose from the bed and grabbed a baggy pyjama top and some lounge trousers for the evening. He ducked from his room and headed straight through the living room to the kitchen.

T had meal prepped earlier because he had the day off, so Eijirou grabbed a tub of pan fried chicken thighs and green beans from the fridge and slammed it in the microwave. He tapped his foot as he waited for it to heat and grabbed himself a can of beer.

“Did you seriously jump up and run away to jerk off? /Dude./” Tetsutetsu shot him a sly grin and Eijirou felt himself flush red.

“Random boners man, what can I say?” He shrugged like it was nothing and threw himself down in their single seater with a huff as he cracked his beer and took a swig. Wha’d I miss?”

“Oh, Maya has been kidnapped because she figured out who the murderer is, and everyone is trying to track her down.” +

Tetsutetsu said immediately, eyes already back on the screen as he grabbed a handful of salted popcorn and stuffed his mouth with it before swigging his own half empty beer.

“Oh snap. Darius is gonna kick some ass in a minute. And I'm kinda surprised Shinsou isn't here actually, he usually is when you've got a day off.”

“Huh? Oh, nah he was at work so he just called on his break. It has always been just sex, but I think I actually like him now, yanno?” Tetsu shovelled more popcorn into his mouth and spoke around it, “he shays we should get someone to have a threeshome wiv-” he swallowed,+

+ “but like, that's easier said than done, right? I don't know how to flirt to save my life and he literally looks like he'd smack you rather than kiss you. No guy is gonna throw themselves at us man.”

Eijirou blushed a little but nodded as he set his beer down on the coffee table and set about his food, “I kinda get that. I freeze up when I try talking to a hot guy. I mean look at me bro, I'm pretty hot myself. +

+ I shouldn't I dunno… get all tongue tied like some blushing teenager. I'm twenty freaking seven this year, I'm a firefighter and my abs are to die for. But nope. I just /nnggghhh/~” +

He waved around a piece of chicken before shoving it in his mouth as T laughed and finally looked over at him to point a finger.

“Yes! That! Fuck me, I once tried to pick up a guy in a bar, got nervous, told him I liked his nose and then dribbled on myself when I went to take a drink. I'm a bonafide disaster gay. And you're more than ‘pretty hot’ bro, you're goddamn /gorgeous/ and your body is smokin’.”

“What did I do to deserve a bro like you? Thanks man, you look like a Greek statue. Also, no offence but that story is ridiculous and I'm fully gonna make fun of you for at /least/ a week now. Friggin...dribbling…” Eijirou chuckled and shook his head.

“Yeah, but my dick is a hell of a lot bigger than those statues’. And fair. You should have been there, it was worse in person. If it wasn't for this ‘friends with benefits’ thing I've got going on with Hitoshi, I don't think I'd have gotten laid in like a year.”+

Gunfire sounded from the television and T suddenly snapped his attention back to the screen, “oh shit, it's going down. +

+ Our sexy boy Darius is /maaaad/. Phew, look at him go! I need a drink, he makes me so thirsty.” He gulped the last of his beer in a way that made him sound like a blocked drain.

Eijirou snorted a laugh around his next bite of chicken and green beans and focused on the tv too, watching the tall, dark and handsome detective do a barrel roll and +

shout for his wife slash partner as a car caught fire for some unknown reason. It was ridiculous and dramatic, but hey, it was trash tv and it was a pretty fun watch.

The next morning Eijirou rose at six am and grabbed two tubs of pre prepared food from the fridge for work, dumping them in his lunch bag with a protein milkshake as he fished out two hard boiled eggs, stuffed them in his face and brushed his hair up into a short ponytail.

He grabbed his brush before he could forget and get told off for leaving it in the kitchen again.

Then he rushed around getting ready and brushing his teeth as he heard his bro groan from his room and tell him to quit banging because he had a night shift at the station later and he wanted all the sleep he could get.

“Sorry! I'm going now, I'll probably see you later when the shifts switch! Have a good day man!” He called as he hurried down the hall.

He checked his watch and bit his lip. He wasn't running too late at least, he'd make it just fine if he didn't miss his train. He jumped the last five steps and landed with a thud and a grin, straightening even as he stepped forward.

“Jesus fucking Christ. That's how you break ankles, idiot.” An angry, gruff voice sounded and shot straight through Eijirou's gut. He snapped his head around to see Katsuki leaning against the wall with a vape pen, looking him up and down.

Oh shit.

Eijirou's face threatened to catch fire immediately, but he gave a laugh he hoped didn't sound weird or forced and shrugged, “I kinda do it all the time when I'm running a bit late.” He explained and scratched the side of his head with a smile.

Katsuki quirked a brow and smirked, looking at the Crimson Riot superhero lunch bag in his hand for a long moment, “well don't let me keep you then, Kirishima.” +

He took a drag of his vape and blew out faintly tobacco scented smoke, “actually -since you clearly didn't magically get all that beef- do you know a good gym in the area? I need to burn off those cake calories.” +

He smirked like he knew something Eijirou didn't and Eijirou had to fight an honest to god whimper because he /did/ know. “Oh, and thanks, I /really/ enjoyed it.”

Yeah, he'd seen just how much.

“I- yeah, umm, cake is great.” /Pull it together you idiot/! He admonished himself silently and took a deep breath, before flashing his teeth in a grin that was way more confident than he felt right then.

Katsuki's gaze flicked to his teeth and his eyebrow rose, just a fraction. “But yeah man, the gym I go to is really good! You got some paper or something? +

+ I'll write down the address, it's reasonably priced and it's got great facilities. Like you said, I didn't wake up like this one day, I've spent a fair bit of time there.”

Katsuki snorted, “no shit, captain obvious. Write it here.” He took out his phone and unlocked it, before waving it almost impatiently at him. Eijirou swallowed nervously and stepped closer to take it.

He quickly wrote the name and address of his gym and handed the phone back with a friendly smile as the back of his head screamed at him not to accidentally blurt out the fact he knew the blond had fucked that cake.

Katsuki took it and slipped it in his sweatpants pocket without a word as he eyed Eijirou's biceps. He was just about to awkwardly excuse himself when the blond spoke, “tense your arm for me real quick.”

It wasn't really a question, it was more a gravely demand, and he did as he was told immediately, lifting his arm not holding his lunch to flex.

Katsuki took another puff of his vape and blew it out through his nose, before slipping the pen to stick upright in the waistband of his sweats.

He lifted a hand slowly and Eijirou almost bolted, because he /knew/ the blond was about to touch him and he wasn't sure if he could keep a straight face and not moan and possibly freak his hot neighbour out by being a weirdo.

The skin on Katsuki's hand was surprisingly rough and felt a little scarred.

The blond made a contemplative sound as he squeezed lightly before letting go, the briefest of touches, “not bad, Kirishima. But you're gonna be late.”+

He said pointedly as Eijirou's whole world spun on its axis in his head as he focussed only on the fact that Katsuki had touched himself with that hand last night. He had sucked cake off those fingers and moaned.

Reality slapped him in the face when the blond's words sank in and he tensed, “shit, you're right! Bye Bakugou, I'll see you round!” He shouted over his shoulder with a backwards wave as he turned and ran across the car park.

It was three days before Eijirou saw Katsuki again. But it was on his phone screen as he held his shirt up with his teeth, hand wrapped around his cock as the blond rolled a condom over an aubergine with a smirk.

And then dropped forward on his hands and knees in a kitchen a little /too/ similar to Eijirou's.

The blond panted and almost whined as he worked the thick end of the aubergine inside himself, biting down on his forearm as he moaned at the stretch, before the vegetable finally sank home.

Eijirou came when the blond did, panting and moaning and absolutely desperate to feed his cock into Katsuki himself.

Eijirou became more aware of food as the weeks progressed, and he started to exclusively touch himself to his amazing upstairs neighbours’ videos.

The latest was Katsuki in his inflatable pool, jerking off as he poured an entire saucepan of cooled white chocolate sauce all over himself. It was in his hair, his mouth…./everywhere/.

He was a mess and it was /perfect/.