Hold on to your dicks everyone, because I think I just solved all of America's problems.

Ok first of all, obviously, no more corporations or business owners of any kind, all workplaces collectively owned and democratically run by workers, necessities of life provided to everyone free of charge. I think basically everyone can agree on that.

Next, no more presidents. Keep some kind of Congress based on population (no Senate) and an independent judiciary.

Instead of a president, we elect a pair of coequal consuls. This is done by pure popular vote. Top two vote getters get the job and that's it.

Each consul can veto any executive order or other decision by the other consul. They're forced to come to consensus if they want to get anything done.

Once you've served as consul once, you are no longer eligible for any public office. Single terms only.

One reason for this is that when a pair of consuls' term is over, they must fight each other to the death in a public arena with melee weapons. The loser is buried with honors and gets a library and stuff. But it's not over for the winner.

Immediately after the consular fight, the winner faces off against Tigris of Gaul.

Let's face it: you're probably not getting past Tigris of Gaul. He's big, he has better weapons and armor, he's trained for this, and, crucially, he's accompanied in the arena by two adult tigers.

He can't really command or control the tigers, but they introduce a wildcard element to the proceedings.

If, by some miracle, a consul manages to defeat Tigris of Gaul, they then become the new Tigris of Gaul.

In that event, they may go free and live their lives, never again taking any public office. But at the end of every consular term, they must return to the arena to fight the strongest of the two consuls.

The way I see it, this system has several advantages. Obviously, hard term limits and checks and balances are a plus. But also, the job of consul would only be sought out by people willing to bleed in order to serve the people.

The consular fights would have no consequences for anyone not taking part. So we the people would still be voting based on who would make the best administrator. We're not really motivated to try and pick the best fighter.

Consuls would be forced to work very closely with one another, but they would be sizing each other up at the same time.

It's hard to say if this would cause candidates to skew older or younger.

In the event of a death while in office, each consul would have a vice consul who would serve as their second. I assume this would lead to some beefy running mates, to minimize assassinations.

At the very least, we never would have had a vice president Mike Pence. Or Tim Kaine, for that matter.

And with how miserable 2016 was, think of how great a consolation it would be to know that in a few months we'd get to watch Hillary Clinton bury her thumbs in trump's eye sockets until his legs stopped kicking?

There's no way she loses that fight.

Anyway, you're welcome America, and happy 3AM!