| 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙖 ❁ day 3, desserts

in which the u.a. test kitchen does the whole youtube thing, and the internet collectively ships kacchako.

a b.a. test kitchen au + social media au

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586152 

#kacchako #kacchakoweek2020

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦
fluff and crack
virtually zero plot
thirsty internet shippers
poorly tempered chocolate
deflated souffles
shouto's abused taste buds

(this is entirely self-indulgent... but i hope you enjoy it, even if you're not familiar with the inspiration materal!)

別腹 | 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗮 (n.) – 𝘑𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵
_____

[𝘔𝘳𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 1/2]

[𝘔𝘳𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 2/2]

_____

“Hey guys!” Uraraka waved cheerfully at the camera. “My name is Uraraka Ochako, and welcome back to Farm to Table, a show where we explore where our food comes from!”

“For today’s episode, we’re going to be doing something a 𝘭𝘪𝘪𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 different.”

On the counter was a pile of misshapen brown lumps, mottled with different black and brown spots.

“On our cacao episode, a lot of you were a little… shall we say, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 with me, when I didn’t make chocolate out of a cacao pod.”

Uraraka’s smile turned icy, as a screenshot popped up on screen. She held up a little slip of paper from her hand and cleared her voice.

“ ‘𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺,’ ” she read, widening her eyes for emphasis.

“ ‘𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵.’ ”

The dark, saccharine expression on her face never faltered as she ripped up the paper into tiny pieces, throwing bits over her shoulder.

“Now, I’m here to show you that actually, yes – making chocolate 𝘤𝘢𝘯 be easy!”

The hard smile was replaced by a warm grin.
“My friends at Tokyo Cacao sent me some pods to work with, and lucky for us, they’re ripe and ready to go!”

She beamed, picking up a pod and showing it off to the camera. “I’ll show you guys how to turn these bad boys into chocolate - and after that, I’m gonna share one of my favorite chocolate recipes with you!”

Uraraka then grinned mischievously.

“First things first – we gotta crack this little guy open.”

Reaching under the countertop, she whipped out a gigantic chef’s knife. It was easily as long as Uraraka’s forearm, and the polished blade was engraved with two characters that clearly read, ‘Bakugou.’

A choking sound was heard off screen.

“Holy shit Uraraka, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 took it?!” A man popped into frame, gaping at the knife in Uraraka’s hand. “Dude, Bakugou’s been looking for that all morning - he’s going to kill you for real this time!”

“Not if he doesn’t find out,” she said seriously, fixing the blonde man with a pointed look. “You’re not going to rat me out, are you, Kaminari?”

“And get killed in his Baku-rage? No thanks.” He shivered, staring at the knife as if it was going to attack him.

“At least 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 got a chance of surviving.”

Uraraka laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re acting like he’s going to actually murder you or something.”

“You don’t know about poor Mineta.”

Kaminari looked grave as he closed his eyes in a moment of silence, before scurrying out of frame. He called out, “If anyone, especially Bakubro, asks – I was never here!”

“O… kay?... ” Uraraka blinked at the camera for a few moments and then shook her head in amusement.

“Anyways, back to the topic – opening the pod! The rind is pretty thick and slippery, so be careful where you’re cutting! The best way is to set the edge of the knife in one of the grooves and give it a good whack, like this - !”

_____

[𝘗𝘳𝘰 𝘊𝘩𝘦𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘖𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 | 𝘏𝘰𝘵 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 | 𝘜.𝘈. 𝘛𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯, 1/1]

_____

“Oh fuck, that’s good,” Bakugou groaned, mouth full as he chewed.

The mango-coconut tart in front of him was dotted with swirls of candied orange peel as a garnish, but it did nothing to hide the fact that the entire thing was dusted with -

- a liberal coating of violent red chili powder.

At his side, Uraraka beamed, sniffling a little from the pervasive scent of spice in the air. “I added some lime too, just to break up the richness – it’s not too sweet?”

“S’fucking perfect.”

Bakugou scarfed down the last bite of the piece in his hand.

He let out another long moan, the sound of it deep and guttural, and Uraraka’s eyes widened as she stared, her cheeks turning red. “Screw it, I’m eating this for lunch.”

“Eh?”

Uraraka blinked, snapping out of her daze just as the tray was snatched from her workbench.

“Wait, wait – Bakugou! Give it back, I haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“Pft, like you wouldn’t down a carton of milk after one bite,” he scoffed, holding the tart above his head and trying to fend off Uraraka with his free hand as she pulled at his arm. “Fucking 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧 , Uraraka, I – !”

_____

[𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 @𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘜.𝘈. 𝘛𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯, 1/2]

[𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 @𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘜.𝘈. 𝘛𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯, 2/2]

Todoroki stared down at the gooey, green-streaked mess of chocolate in front of him mournfully. At his side, Yaoyorozu looked equally despondent, poking at the dull sheen of dark chocolate covering the biscuit in her hand.

“Should we…?”

Todoroki glanced over hesitantly, and Yaoyorozu bit her lip.

“I was really hoping we’d get it this time.” She sighed heavily, before turning around. The camera zoomed out, the frame widening to show a few people milling around in the background. “Uraraka! Do you have a moment?”

A chirpy voice replied, “Sure!” Todoroki visibly sighed in relief, quickly dumping his mixing bowl into the sink of dirty dishes as Uraraka came into the shot.

“Huh, that’s definitely not right…” The brunette poked Yaoyorozu’s chocolate mixture with a frown.

“What temperature did you heat this to?”

“45 degrees?” Uraraka hummed, scooping up a bit of the mixture and dumping it into her hand. She rubbed at it, frowning. “What did you use as your seeded chocolate?”

Todoroki slid the half-empty bag of chocolate chips across the counter, and Uraraka dumped a pile of them out. Little disks spilled across the marble, and she tested a piece between her clean fingers.

“Uh, you know that you’re supposed to use tempered chocolate to seed, right?”

Todoroki opened his mouth, paused, then closed it abruptly. Yaoyorozu buried her face in her hands and audibly groaned.

“Hey, the good news is that you can totally reuse this!” Uraraka tried to smile encouragingly. “Did the matcha chocolate come out weird too, or –?”

“Oi, what the fuck is this?”

The camera panned to the side, where Bakugou was holding up Todoroki’s abandoned mixing bowl in a fist, features twisted into a grimace. “Did all those e-cigs fry your brain, Half-and-half? Who the fuck doesn’t sift matcha before –”

“Hey, lay off of him, Bakugou.” Uraraka stomped over and snatched the bowl away. “Tempering is hard! And you know white chocolate is tricky.”

“Tch, please.” He scoffed. “What kind of idiot can’t temper chocolate?”

Uraraka’s eyes flashed, and she planted her arms on her waist. “Have 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ever tempered chocolate before?”

“What kind of dumbass question is that?” Bakugou growled. “Course I have, I didn’t live under a fucking rock like these two morons.”

Yaoyorozu bristled indignantly, but Uraraka held up her hand. Todoroki just looked tired, and muttered under his breath, “Here we go again…”

“Then you wouldn’t mind giving us a demonstration, would you?” Bakugou looked at her sweet, smiling face suspiciously.

“Or are you too chicken to prove it?”

Red eyes flashed dangerously. “... the fuck did you just say?”

_____

The video cut to a shot of lumpy, melted white goo, before zooming out to show Bakugou’s scowl.

“What the fuck is wrong with this shitty chocolate?”

He kept stirring, even more vigorously this time, and looked down at the mixture as if he was trying to set it on fire with his glare.

Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were tucked a little ways away, snickering quietly as they watched from a safe distance away.

Across from Bakugou, leaning casually against the counter, Uraraka smiled gleefully.

“Hur-dur, ‘𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦?’” she mimicked, her voice lowered in an approximation of the blonde’s low growl.

Uraraka laughed, and then ducked as a chocolate-covered spatula sailed over her head.

“FUCK OFF , ROUND FACE!”

_____

[𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘛𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 '𝘶𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯' 𝘵𝘢𝘨, 1/1]

_____

“Ugh.” Uraraka glared down at the sad, deflated lumps sitting in the middle of her ramekins. “Where is Aoyama when you need him?”

“That looks pathetic,” a blunt voice said, and Uraraka sighed as -

- Bakugou came into the camera frame, leaning over the counter to peer into one cup with a skeptical look. “What the hell are you making?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be a pistachio-strawberry souffle.” She huffed, rubbing at her neck in frustration.

“I can’t figure out how to get the nuts to distribute evenly… and it’s just not rising? I don’t get it – I remade my pastry cream like, three times, I 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 it’s fine, and I buttered my molds but it just…”

“You try freezing the molds after you butter them?”

A frown came over Uraraka’s face as she shook her head. Bakugou grabbed one of the little cups, prodding the contents with a finger, and made a face.

“Keeps it from contaminating your mixture and fucking up the rise.”

“When I make them at home, they’re usually fine at room temp,” she said dejectedly. “I don’t know why I can’t get it right today.”

The camera zoomed in a little, focusing on Bakugou’s expression as he glanced towards Uraraka.

He looked a little concerned, and after a beat of silence, he came around the counter to stand beside her.

“Oi, don’t get all mopey on me, Cheeks.” He nudged her shoulder lightly, settling a hand across the back of Uraraka’s neck. “You good?”

She sighed heavily, leaning a little into his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I just… I don’t know. My brain isn’t working right now.”

“Tch.” Bakugou looked over the mess of bowls spread across the counter, eyes settling on the deflated looking egg-whites on one side.

“Look – I’ll help ya out, just this once. Don’t quit on me now, yeah?

She blinked, looking up at him with furrowed brows. “But I thought… don’t you have that thing, with –”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. This is more important,” he said, shrugging off his leather jacket and rolling up his sleeves.

Uraraka just looked back at him in confusion.

“But…” She bit her lip hesitantly. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Bakugou smirked back at her as he tied on his apron. “I got you, Cheeks.”

_____

[𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘛𝘪𝘬𝘛𝘰𝘬 𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘜𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘢 𝘖𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘰'𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵, 1/1]

_____

Uraraka rubbed her eyes, blinking as she gaped.

“You…” She looked up at him, chin trembling. “Did you really…?”

“Tch.” Bakugou huffed, trying to hide a smile. “What, your eyes don’t work now, Cheeks?” he teased.

“I just - ” Uraraka pinched herself, yelping at the pain, before a huge, toothy smile broke out across her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did it.”

“You did get on your knees and beg, so…” He shrugged, snickering as Uraraka approached the counter reverently, her face glowing in sheer joy. “Ten kinds of mochi, as fuckin’ promised.”

She turned to him pleadingly. “Can I…?”

“I already took the photos.” He nodded at the spread, a rainbow of different colors delicately arranged with a pot of tea, ready to be eaten. “Go for it, babygirl.”

Uraraka already had a daifuku mochi halfway to her mouth, lips open as she got ready to take a bite, when an unfamiliar voice cut into the video.

“Wait a second.”

Both of them paused to look at the camera in confusion. “Did he just call you babygirl?”

There was a beat of silence, before Uraraka’s face exploded into a bright red blush. Next to her, Bakugou quietly muttered, “Fuck.”

_____

[𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰𝘶 𝘒𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪'𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵, 1/1]

[𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 @𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘢𝘥𝘦, 1/1]

_____

~FIN~