I stopped being angry when I realized nothing is ever about me. Its never about you. Its never personal. People cannot handle the internal battle with themselves that they chose to fight others as a means of release for internal aggression

And even with like racial and sexist oppression, its hard not to get mad because we fit into these categories that people hate, but they hate the category that you fall into, not hate you personally. Although its not a reason to not send someone to the ER when they are prejudicia

I should also mention, when realizing this, I check myself everytime Im angry. I ask WHY am I angry. What internal battle with myself am I struggle to fight to the point where I have to subject others to experience it, and Ive learned this the hard way.

I guess I should add more info since this is getting so much traction.

While realizing nothing is ever about you: it does not mean you have to sit silent in the face of adversity. This is all to say that when you are subjected to someones agression, dont take it personal...

but again this doesnt mean you have to do nothing. You can totally stand up and assert yourself in the face of adversity and set your boundaries. Its just that when you take things personally: you cannot effectively combat the method in which you’ve been attacked

This also doesnt mean people who are subjecting you to certain trauma/prejudice/etc can and should get away with what they’re doing.

If you let people get away with bad behavior, they’re just going to do it again.

Theres a difference in being a victim and perpetrator of anger

I strongly believe in holding others accountable and getting people to be cognizant of how their actions impact others, but this starts with being cognizant of your own actions and how it can impact others.

Its all about taking responsibility for yourself.

Once you take responsibility for yourself, you can then hold other people, like the type of person described in the OT, for not being responsible for their behavior and internal battles they cannot face, and as a result subject others to their internal struggle

Not dealing with your internal battles and taking responsibility for yourself is not only a disservice to your mental health, but it is a disservice to the people around you who are subjected to deal with it.

So if people are subjecting you to their internal battles:

1) Do not take anything they say personally, it is a reflection of their internal struggle

2) You can do nothing and be silent, or speak up and hold them accountable. Be intentional about WHY you chose to retaliate

and if you know someone who constantly does this

3) Remove all contact with them if possible (for family members you live with it might not be as easy). Why do you continue to allow people to be in your life who subject you to their trauma and make your life miserable? Fuck that

You do not have to have contact with anyone who does not fundementally respect you and who cannot take responsibility for themselves. You deserve better.

Don’t go for second best.

When you point the finger, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.

There is no such thing as revenge. You will not give as good as you got. There is no such thing as an eye for and eye, if you think youre the giver: youre not.

Hate destroys the one who hates.

I need to also address: just because Im talking about people projecting their anger onto you, dont do it to others.

You need to hold yourself accountable for how YOU project your anger onto others.

Dont let this thread justify your irresponsibility for your actions.

Take responsibility for yourself, everything you do, and actually question WHY are you doing it. What is your unconscious motivation?

The unconscious is something we are not aware of. You have underlying motivations for your release of anger without even realizing it.

You have to be critical and judgmental of yourself and where you fuck up and work to correct it.

Take responsibility for yourself. Your actions. Everything you do, and be intentful and purposeful about it

This goes for EVERY aspect of your life, big or small. Be responsible

Be responsible for the fact you murdered a fly because you were scared or didnt like it.

And be responsible when you sleep with your bestfriends relationship partner.

Be responsible for your words and actions, because if you dont: your gifts and talents mean nothing.