#TK: random conversations between two dorky roommates who are, lowkey hardboring MASSIVE crushes on each other but are convinced their romantic feelings are just really strong best-bro vibes so they dance around each other with anime reruns and dumb puns
tae: what's going on buddy, that's the 6th piece of pizza i'm seeing u eat
jk, reaching out for the 7th slice of pizza w sticky hands: just tryna see how many slices i can power thru before my stomach lining tears through
tae:..i know i should be worried but im morbidly curious
jk, reaching out for the 7th slice of pizza w sticky hands: just tryna see how many slices i can power thru before my stomach lining tears through
tae:..i know i should be worried but im morbidly curious
jk, hunting around the apartment at 4 am:
tae, sauntering in, rubbing at his eyes: guk..its like 4 am. can u tone it down?
jk: sry but have u seen my pajamas?
tae: its on ur legs.. pls come back to bed
tae, sauntering in, rubbing at his eyes: guk..its like 4 am. can u tone it down?
jk: sry but have u seen my pajamas?
tae: its on ur legs.. pls come back to bed
jimin: so.
tae: so?
jimin: guks chewing on a piece of ur hair
tae: its nourishing.
jimin: ....
tae: he also lost a bet.
jimin: so.??? you made him eat ?? your? hair??
tae, shrugging: i didnt have many options available
tae: so?
jimin: guks chewing on a piece of ur hair
tae: its nourishing.
jimin: ....
tae: he also lost a bet.
jimin: so.??? you made him eat ?? your? hair??
tae, shrugging: i didnt have many options available
omg just gna keep adding here as my crackhead levels rise up at 5 am
goodnight for now
goodnight for now
namjoon: .... hey?
jk and tae who were balancing chopsticks on their noses but got quickly bored so they're poking it in their nostrils instead:
hoseok who's been recording them for the past 25 minutes: hey, grab a beer
jk and tae who were balancing chopsticks on their noses but got quickly bored so they're poking it in their nostrils instead:
hoseok who's been recording them for the past 25 minutes: hey, grab a beer
tae: can you grab my butt???
jk, no hesitation, very enthusiastically squeezes the flesh: what's up
tae: idk it's been so long since it's been grabbed. how did it feel?
jk: still felt like a marshmallow, you're good. top notch butt. 10/10 would grab and squeeze
tae:
jk, no hesitation, very enthusiastically squeezes the flesh: what's up
tae: idk it's been so long since it's been grabbed. how did it feel?
jk: still felt like a marshmallow, you're good. top notch butt. 10/10 would grab and squeeze
tae:


jin: are they aware that they're practically dating
yoongi: dating??? that level of disgusting can only be achieved by married couples
jk, indignant as fuck: So y'all DON'T kiss your buddies after a good karoke routine???
tae, equally indignant: YOU TELL EM GUK
yoongi: dating??? that level of disgusting can only be achieved by married couples
jk, indignant as fuck: So y'all DON'T kiss your buddies after a good karoke routine???
tae, equally indignant: YOU TELL EM GUK
jk: hey ignore the wine cooler in the fridge, i just wanted to give Lizzie a new home
tae: Lizzie??
jk: yeah our new pet lizard that came out from the crack next to the toilet bowl
tae: oh that's coo— DID YOU JUST USE OUR WINE COOLER
jk, yelping: would it help if I said no?
tae: Lizzie??
jk: yeah our new pet lizard that came out from the crack next to the toilet bowl
tae: oh that's coo— DID YOU JUST USE OUR WINE COOLER
jk, yelping: would it help if I said no?
kook and tae wrapped cozily around each other near the window, there's a small fire that they haphazardly built out of old lab reports that could eventually lead to their demise if the curtain or the rug or the walls catches the fire:
jk, tilting his chin down: merry christmas
jk, tilting his chin down: merry christmas

jungkook opens the door to see taehyung crying
jk: what's wrong
who hurt you
who do I have to BEAT UP 


tae, sniffling: it's just... It's just.. haikyuu ended —wails louder—
jk, also tearing up now: oh god I was not mentally prepared for what you were going to say
jk: what's wrong





tae, sniffling: it's just... It's just.. haikyuu ended —wails louder—
jk, also tearing up now: oh god I was not mentally prepared for what you were going to say
this thread gives me so much fucking stress relief I wish I could make comics out of this (tbh, I can but no time
)

pt.1
jk, pondering: how do u think sex would feel
tae: amazing ofc, shouldn't u know? ur no virgin
jk: nah it's been a while.
tae, frowning, seemingly deep in thought: been a while for me too
jk: well am single for anyone who'd wanna bone
tae: omg im single too, thas crazy
jk, pondering: how do u think sex would feel
tae: amazing ofc, shouldn't u know? ur no virgin
jk: nah it's been a while.
tae, frowning, seemingly deep in thought: been a while for me too
jk: well am single for anyone who'd wanna bone
tae: omg im single too, thas crazy
jk: so what do we do
tae: ?? maybe, actually go have sex
jk, sighing: yeah but like how—
yoongi who'd been observing this whole conversation with bated breath, throws his newspaper on the table: Fucks SAKE JUST BONE EACH OTHER
tae n jk: oJo pikachu meme
tae: ?? maybe, actually go have sex
jk, sighing: yeah but like how—
yoongi who'd been observing this whole conversation with bated breath, throws his newspaper on the table: Fucks SAKE JUST BONE EACH OTHER
tae n jk: oJo pikachu meme
tae n jk holding hands: :D
Jimin, smiling softly: they're so in love
namjoon ALSO smiling softly: part of me doesn't wanna break it to them cos they're so happy
yoongi, yelling: HEY DOOFUSES YOURE IN LOVE YOU FUCKING MORONS
tae: omg Guk do u wanna go grab a slushie with me
Jimin, smiling softly: they're so in love
namjoon ALSO smiling softly: part of me doesn't wanna break it to them cos they're so happy
yoongi, yelling: HEY DOOFUSES YOURE IN LOVE YOU FUCKING MORONS
tae: omg Guk do u wanna go grab a slushie with me
Guk: Hell yes!! you read my mind
tae n Guk, still holding hands but now skipping happily: :D
yoongi, turning towards minimoni with his eyebrows raised: even if you sock them across the their face they wouldn't fucking realise .....
tae n Guk, still holding hands but now skipping happily: :D
yoongi, turning towards minimoni with his eyebrows raised: even if you sock them across the their face they wouldn't fucking realise .....
guk: hey tae, can I talk to you about smth serious?
tae, getting visibly nervous: what is it?
jk: do you think if I have a boil on my right butt cheek but I sit on my left butt cheek the whole day, would I cramp like both buttcheeks or one
tae, visibly relieved: both? I think?
tae, getting visibly nervous: what is it?
jk: do you think if I have a boil on my right butt cheek but I sit on my left butt cheek the whole day, would I cramp like both buttcheeks or one
tae, visibly relieved: both? I think?
tae: Jimin ...
jimin: ? What
tae: i think i kinda ..You know?
jimin, raising his eyebrows, vibrating at the thought of tae FINALLY fucking realising: yes?
tae: i kinda farted..can you smell it? Worried cos the student guide's gonna be here any minute
jimin, deflating; no.
jimin: ? What
tae: i think i kinda ..You know?
jimin, raising his eyebrows, vibrating at the thought of tae FINALLY fucking realising: yes?
tae: i kinda farted..can you smell it? Worried cos the student guide's gonna be here any minute
jimin, deflating; no.
aaaa feeling alive as i write this dumb as fuck, not at all serious thread. Does anyone ever think Guk n tae will realise
tae, throwing on the first shirt he finds and guk just barging in and stopping:
jk: is that /my/ shirt?
tae getting lil red by jk's heated glance: uhm.. yes?
jk taking two large strides and reaching tae: ...
tae: what
jk: GIVE IT BACK TO ME WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS GOKU ON IT
jk: is that /my/ shirt?
tae getting lil red by jk's heated glance: uhm.. yes?
jk taking two large strides and reaching tae: ...
tae: what
jk: GIVE IT BACK TO ME WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS GOKU ON IT
hobi, tae n jk dancing the macarena:
jimin, laughing all over the floor with phone out:
hobi slowly slips away as the song changes and sits next to a quietened down jimin: do u think they'll realise
taekook who are now slow dancing:
jimin, sighing wistfully: probably not
jimin, laughing all over the floor with phone out:

hobi slowly slips away as the song changes and sits next to a quietened down jimin: do u think they'll realise
taekook who are now slow dancing:
jimin, sighing wistfully: probably not
should call this stupid thread "how long until the hyungs lose their patience and smush the two idiots face together"
tae: hey gukker!!! what's up!!! How are You!!!!
jk, v confused: ? am good and all but what's with this chipper attitude
tae: I HAD! like! EIGHT! redbulls! WHATS UP!
Guk, shaking his head n turning away: go pee
tae, already 1 foot in the bathroom: I hate that u know me so well
jk, v confused: ? am good and all but what's with this chipper attitude
tae: I HAD! like! EIGHT! redbulls! WHATS UP!
Guk, shaking his head n turning away: go pee
tae, already 1 foot in the bathroom: I hate that u know me so well
taehyung and jeongguk cuddle and sleep, it's not very often that they /aren't/ by each other's side. jeongguk presses his face into the back of taehyung's neck and taehyung clutches jeongguk's clasped palm, holds it close to his heart.
yes, this is how bros sleep. Platonic bros
yes, this is how bros sleep. Platonic bros
tae & guk making pizza together from scratch and fucking basically everything up and jeongguk stress-eating the cheese ("guk, that was for ON TOP of the pizza") and them successfully missing the oven beep and letting it burn to a crisp.
"should i get the takeout menu?" guk asks.
"should i get the takeout menu?" guk asks.
hobi: hey tae, can i talk to you?
tae, munching on the straw as he scrolls thru photos of guk: sup hyung
hobi: ok so bear with me.
tae: ?
hob: r u sure ur not in LOVE with jeongguk?
tae, giggling at a pic of guk with pigtails: im sorry hyung, what?
hobi: yk what, nevermind.
tae, munching on the straw as he scrolls thru photos of guk: sup hyung
hobi: ok so bear with me.
tae: ?
hob: r u sure ur not in LOVE with jeongguk?
tae, giggling at a pic of guk with pigtails: im sorry hyung, what?
hobi: yk what, nevermind.
the hyungs try pt.2 GUK VERS.
jimin, playing abysmally: i hate playing
jk, laughing as he beats jimins ass for the umpteenth time: god i wish tae was here
jimin: ..hey guk? quick question but are u aware ur in love with taehyung
jk, scratching his head: duh? he's my best bro
jimin, playing abysmally: i hate playing
jk, laughing as he beats jimins ass for the umpteenth time: god i wish tae was here
jimin: ..hey guk? quick question but are u aware ur in love with taehyung
jk, scratching his head: duh? he's my best bro
yoongi, yawning: why the fuck am i here
jimin: this is a core council meeting. we're tryna get the idiots together
namjoo, sighing: they're helpless, why bother?
hobi: like ive watched them kiss and they think its platonic
seokjin: is it even possible for two people to be
jimin: this is a core council meeting. we're tryna get the idiots together
namjoo, sighing: they're helpless, why bother?
hobi: like ive watched them kiss and they think its platonic
seokjin: is it even possible for two people to be
THIS fucking oblivious
jimi chooz: look guys, it's killing me
yoongi, stretching: look jimin, why are you disrupting something thats beautiful? theyre happy, in love n living together all without the labels. why push ur agenda forward
jimin, hesitating: look..i think tae knows
jimi chooz: look guys, it's killing me
yoongi, stretching: look jimin, why are you disrupting something thats beautiful? theyre happy, in love n living together all without the labels. why push ur agenda forward
jimin, hesitating: look..i think tae knows
like to a certain degree. he's aware of it.
namjoon: and....? cos yoongi hyung's right, you know? they seem blissfully happy left alone like this.
seokjin, fond: pair of himbos
jimin: the only thing stopping tae from confessing is that he isnt sure guks into him
hobi, gaping:
namjoon: and....? cos yoongi hyung's right, you know? they seem blissfully happy left alone like this.
seokjin, fond: pair of himbos
jimin: the only thing stopping tae from confessing is that he isnt sure guks into him
hobi, gaping:
ur kidding right. that boy's SMITTEN
jimin: yeah well, the fool doesn't exactly display his emotions so openly
seokjin: ok so what do u propose we do
yoongi: we should stop this. leave them alone & get pizza.
jimin: ..anyway, i have a plan.
they all huddle closer, listening.
jimin: yeah well, the fool doesn't exactly display his emotions so openly
seokjin: ok so what do u propose we do
yoongi: we should stop this. leave them alone & get pizza.
jimin: ..anyway, i have a plan.
they all huddle closer, listening.
taehyung's holding jeongguk's pinky finger in his and it's supposed to be nothing out of the ordinary but he turns his head and catches sight of the other talking about a nuclear war and how they'd have to make weapons out of fruit.
"you're stupid," he says but it's fond.
"you're stupid," he says but it's fond.
jk, barging in & pausing: hey?
tae, mid applying makeup: sup
jk: .
tae: what?
jk: you've got all your—here, let me do it for you
he reaches forward & takes the eyeliner from tae's hands & applies it with careful precision, completely missing the flush on the other's cheeks
tae, mid applying makeup: sup
jk: .
tae: what?
jk: you've got all your—here, let me do it for you
he reaches forward & takes the eyeliner from tae's hands & applies it with careful precision, completely missing the flush on the other's cheeks
contd.
jk: where r u heading off to, anyway? you look beautiful
he looks up, catches tae's eyes before the latter averts them quickly
tae, biting his lip: a date actually
jk: ???????? DATE ?????????
tae, indignant: WHAT, im perfectly capable of finding a date ok
jk: huh.
jk: where r u heading off to, anyway? you look beautiful
he looks up, catches tae's eyes before the latter averts them quickly
tae, biting his lip: a date actually
jk: ???????? DATE ?????????
tae, indignant: WHAT, im perfectly capable of finding a date ok
jk: huh.
jk, dialling up hobi: do u think people kiss on dates
hobi, yawning: it's 4 am
jk: yeah but like do people like smooch? or peck? or make out? or like jump right into sex?
hobi, clearly uninterested: I don't know? bother someone else
jk, already hanging up and dialling jimin
hobi, yawning: it's 4 am
jk: yeah but like do people like smooch? or peck? or make out? or like jump right into sex?
hobi, clearly uninterested: I don't know? bother someone else
jk, already hanging up and dialling jimin
jimin: what do you want you pesky mongrel, i was about to send joon a picture of my booty
jk, already hanging up and dialling yoongi: don't contact me for 5-6 business days
jk, already hanging up and dialling yoongi: don't contact me for 5-6 business days
jk, very much worked up and on a quest now: yoongi hyung don't hang up please this is a crisis
yoongi, annoyed but harbouring a soft spot for jk: what is it, baby? are you ok?
jk, staring at the ceiling, feeling confused: do people kiss on dates
yoongi, gently: I know I would
yoongi, annoyed but harbouring a soft spot for jk: what is it, baby? are you ok?
jk, staring at the ceiling, feeling confused: do people kiss on dates
yoongi, gently: I know I would
jeongguk knows taehyung came home like a good little christian boy before it was 12 so he clearly DIDN'T have sex — unless, he had a super quick, ultra passionate romp in the sack quickie?
oh god, was guk having a panic attack? WHAT is this feeling?
he only knows one solution.
oh god, was guk having a panic attack? WHAT is this feeling?
he only knows one solution.
Did I just add plot to my crackhead tales 


jeongguk n tae sleep together on tae's bed almost everyday but jeongguk didn't think there was really a point today considering he expected tae to come home late from his date OR bring his date along and continue doing naughty shenanigans...why did guk feel like punching a wall?
jk, banging taes door even though it was the asscrack of dawn & people should definitely not be up at this inhumane hour unless they were insomniacs or very drunk teenagers: tae! open UP
there's a scuffle at the other end before tae wrenches his door open, rubbing his eyes: guk?
there's a scuffle at the other end before tae wrenches his door open, rubbing his eyes: guk?
jk, feeling very vulnerable & in need of his constant tae-vitamin boost: can I come in? feeling very cuddlebug atm
tae, smiling sleepily, already sauntering back to bed: cmere human doggo
and when jk wraps his arms around the other, breathing the familiar scent, he's at ease.
tae, smiling sleepily, already sauntering back to bed: cmere human doggo
and when jk wraps his arms around the other, breathing the familiar scent, he's at ease.
yoongi, watching tae and jk throw gummy bears at lil kids in the park: jimin your plan sucks
jimin, rolling his eyes: i didnt hear any bright ideas from YOUR side
joon, resting his head on the table: guk got a little jealous tho so half-win?
hobi, sighing: should we get them,
jimin, rolling his eyes: i didnt hear any bright ideas from YOUR side
joon, resting his head on the table: guk got a little jealous tho so half-win?
hobi, sighing: should we get them,
i can see some VERY angry parents
seokjin, slurping: lowkey want them to get beat up by middle-aged moms
yoongi: punishment for all the shit they put us through
tae n jk yelping but laughing loudly as a soccer mom chases after them with her mighty big handbag
bts: endeared
seokjin, slurping: lowkey want them to get beat up by middle-aged moms
yoongi: punishment for all the shit they put us through
tae n jk yelping but laughing loudly as a soccer mom chases after them with her mighty big handbag
bts: endeared
who do u think would confess first
tae: do u think we could be Ghost Busters in another life
guk, unhesitatingly: hell yeah. pretty sure if multiverse IS a thing, we already ARE ghost busters
tae: do u think we'd be together??
guk: tae, we'd be together no matter which life we're in :)
tae, heart thumping: oh
guk, unhesitatingly: hell yeah. pretty sure if multiverse IS a thing, we already ARE ghost busters
tae: do u think we'd be together??
guk: tae, we'd be together no matter which life we're in :)
tae, heart thumping: oh
jimin, batting his eyelashes, twirling a tendril of his hair: hey joonie~~~~
joon, oblivious lil fool: what's up brother
kook, turning towards tae: man imagine being THAT oblivious
tae, chuckling, observing jimin being a gay mess: could NEVER be us
joon, oblivious lil fool: what's up brother
kook, turning towards tae: man imagine being THAT oblivious
tae, chuckling, observing jimin being a gay mess: could NEVER be us
jk, one night before midterms: tae I think I'm going to fail
tae, looking equally haggard & stressed: hey cookie boy, don't say that. if u fail, I fail. we're basically soul-connected
jk, tearing up: oh my god, I can't let You fail. (starts studying again with renewed fervour)
tae, looking equally haggard & stressed: hey cookie boy, don't say that. if u fail, I fail. we're basically soul-connected
jk, tearing up: oh my god, I can't let You fail. (starts studying again with renewed fervour)
guk working out and tae observing him whilst munching on a packet of cheese rings. every time, guk finishes a set, tae will take 1 cheesed dusted finger with a ring attached to it & feed it to guk.
guk's mouth wraps around tae's finger as he sucks.
jin: this is straightup porn
guk's mouth wraps around tae's finger as he sucks.
jin: this is straightup porn
jk, opening the door and met with a VERY familiar sight: oh..HELL NO
tae, turning, mid-makeup: ??
jk: you're NOT going on a date when its terrible tuna tuesday
tae, smiling: im not going anywhere
jk: whats all this for then [gesturing]
tae: for u. do i look good
jk: blushes
tae, turning, mid-makeup: ??
jk: you're NOT going on a date when its terrible tuna tuesday
tae, smiling: im not going anywhere
jk: whats all this for then [gesturing]
tae: for u. do i look good
jk: blushes
contd.
tae, twirling around: you should get dressed up too!!
guk, who'd been observing him with his eyes glued to taes face for the past 5 mins: uh?? why me??
tae: why not!! we'll go out, make a date out of it
jk: ..d-date?
tae, looking at him, bashful: yeah? why not
tae, twirling around: you should get dressed up too!!
guk, who'd been observing him with his eyes glued to taes face for the past 5 mins: uh?? why me??
tae: why not!! we'll go out, make a date out of it
jk: ..d-date?
tae, looking at him, bashful: yeah? why not
jk: [glitching] you want? Date? Me?
tae: yes. It's just us, right?
jk: [still glitching] and date? Us? You looking like that? Date?
tae, a little worried now: yes....?
jk, very shook by the turn of events: i think I have diarrhea
tae: ???? is this your way of saying no?
tae: yes. It's just us, right?
jk: [still glitching] and date? Us? You looking like that? Date?
tae, a little worried now: yes....?
jk, very shook by the turn of events: i think I have diarrhea
tae: ???? is this your way of saying no?
Jk: date— I mean yes, wait, I mean— no. Fuck
tae, staring at him, super duper confused: so...yes?
jk, turning red and thinking about all the anime pickup lines he knows: throwing a Pikachu ball at u because ur a catch
tae: . Go get ready u ingrown toe nail
tae, staring at him, super duper confused: so...yes?
jk, turning red and thinking about all the anime pickup lines he knows: throwing a Pikachu ball at u because ur a catch
tae: . Go get ready u ingrown toe nail
jungkook and taehyung walking on the streets of seoul. it's awkward but not in the way you'd think, tae reaches out to intertwine their pinkies and jk blushes a little feeling the warmth of the other's fingetips.
"you wanna go to the arcade?" tae asks, voice soft.
[heartbeat]
"you wanna go to the arcade?" tae asks, voice soft.
[heartbeat]
it's them but there's also something different in the air. something inexplicable. something soft and warm and wrapped up with honeyed voices & tingling electricity between their arms brushing against each other.
and when jungkook goes back to his room that night, he's confused.
and when jungkook goes back to his room that night, he's confused.