Thread by @BasicallyNo, I wrote a short piece about my experiences in the Green Party [...]

I wrote a short piece about my experiences in the Green Party of England and Wales over the last few years last night, and how the 'trans debate' has changed the way I engage with the party and the way the party often engages with me.

I'm going to post it in a thread below.
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It’s 2:28AM on the 26th of July, and I’m tired.

As of right now, I’m one of a handful of candidates standing for a position on GPEx, the national executive of the Green Party of England and Wales. I’ve been in the party for around a decade, and I’ve been politically

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active and engaged for about the same amount of time.

In 2017, the party felt very different to me. I was very active in Lancaster, having been the candidate for a target seat which we’d held in the past. I didn’t win, a very nice person called Lizzi Collinge did, but

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the experience was altogether enjoyable. Many of her campaigners were friends of mine from university, and there was no real bad blood between us. They offered me cake and water when we met on the campaign trail, Lizzi and I spoke a little during the campaign about how

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it was going, and when the results were announced, we shared a hug. I got to spend several months wearing through my soles talking about green issues that I was passionate about with people who shared that passion. I got to see house windows flooded with posters with my

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name on, and I can honestly say that I had very few unpleasant experiences on the doorstep. I’m glad I did it.

I moved to Sheffield later in 2017, and things changed, quickly. I’m sure others can better pinpoint the changed attitude within the party, but for me, it came

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in mid-2018, as the Challenor case hit national news. I heard calls to roll-back our policy regarding trans people, with the most common given reason being that our current policy was somehow tainted by proximity to our former Deputy Leadership candidate. While in

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Sheffield, I became our local E+D officer, and spent my entire time in post trying desperately to combat transphobia in the local party, and trying to correct misconception and misinformation about trans people, and about the law as it related to us.

By this point, being

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in the party had become a chore rather than a joy. As the ‘trans debate’ began to swallow the party, I felt less able to focus on the more down to earth environmental politics which I had joined the party to fight for. I felt like I was being dragged out to sea, and

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I was powerless to do much about it. As long as I was trans and visible, people had questions for me. Some in good faith, some not.

I didn’t re-stand for my E+D role. I was exhausted, and I felt like my allies were few, and one of the biggest of them was also stepping

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down from his role. I was tired of having my time wasted, of being gaslit and maligned, of being ignored. It just didn’t feel like I was making an impact.

Plenty of folks "supported" me, but most didn’t really do much to support me. It felt like they got to go off and

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do the work that I wanted to focus on, because these issues were theoretical to them. To me, they were fundamental, and couldn’t be ignored or walked away from. I felt very isolated. I felt like the issue had been dumped in my lap like so much unwanted paperwork.

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I’m standing for GPEx Chair now, alongside Benjamin Smith. He’s been great, but this very much feels like my old E+D days all over again. Few have taken the time to ask me any pointed or specific questions (not including pledges which all candidates were sent)

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about anything other than trans issues. Daily, I get tweeted by new people, with new questions, but it’s always trans stuff. I always take the time to answer them. Some people seem genuinely happy to get an answer, but quite a lot seem more keen to just lead me in

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circles for days on end, cycling through the same questions, ignoring the answers, making the questions increasingly leading, and slowly slowly acting like I’ve said something that I’ve not. It’s a careful art. I know gaslighting when I see it, I’ve lived through

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enough abuse to spot it a mile off.

I think I’ve made my peace that this is just a thing that happens now. I don’t mind it too much, but what really gets to me is the feeling of intense loneliness. There are so many in the party who want the best for

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our trans siblings, and support our policies. But when push comes to shove, they’re often not there. I’d like to take a moment to point out those within the party who I feel have tried to reach out to make a real, human connection with me during this process.

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Benjamin Smith, who has supported me throughout. Rosi Sexton, who approached me with real concern and real compassion for a discussion about where we are as a party. Shahrar Ali, who while I may not agree with him on many issues, did reach out and make a real connection,

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and seemed sincere, even if later statements might have rather diluted that feeling. Finally, Nick Humberstone, who touched base with me for a quick chat and a few honest questions. A lot of these have been brief connections, but they’ve all meant something to me as

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I’ve gone through this process.

I can see why so many trans people don’t stand for prominent roles in the party. It’s exhausting, it can feel quite futile, it seems invariably to just involve withstanding a lot of unfair abuse, and it really can feel like a lot of our

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allies simply aren’t extending their hands in our direction unless they’re prompted to. That’s how it feels to me, anyway. If my experience is even slightly representative, then I can see why so many people end up with the impression that maybe we’re not being fair in

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offering them debates, or our time. They either can’t see or don’t want to see the truth. We’re drowning.

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@bsmithgreens @DrSextonGreen @ShahrarAli @NickHGreen

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