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This last year has been a lot of personal thinking and mulling over myself a bit, who I am, how I fit in with people in society.
I& #39;ve come to realize that I& #39;m a bit unique in the way I approach things. Most of the time that& #39;s good, but sometimes it& #39;s hard for me to relate.
I& #39;ve come to realize that I& #39;m a bit unique in the way I approach things. Most of the time that& #39;s good, but sometimes it& #39;s hard for me to relate.
I don& #39;t know if it& #39;s neurodivergence, or how distant I was from others growing up, my upbringing or just how things are. I simply have a hard time thinking like everyone else does.
In the process of this, I sometimes end up counter what other people expect or want.
In the process of this, I sometimes end up counter what other people expect or want.
I have my foibles. I tend to retreat when faced with social adversity. I can argue relentlessly when I& #39;m not thinking about it. I tend to answer & #39;no& #39; to change when presented with it suddenly.
When really, I need time to think, process and translate it into my own thinking.
When really, I need time to think, process and translate it into my own thinking.
It is in this process that I find most people don& #39;t ask, openly, what the other person thinks. It& #39;s not commonplace. There& #39;s little room for conversation, just accusations and position-seeking, and in that I am absolutely terrible. I get defensive and immobile.
In general, in my life, there are people who want me to be a rock. A pillar of strength they can tie their yoke to so to grant stability.
But I am not a rock. I am a river. I may seem permanent, but I am constantly moving, constantly changing and evolving.
But I am not a rock. I am a river. I may seem permanent, but I am constantly moving, constantly changing and evolving.
I used to have this.. idea in my head that I look the same so long as you stare, but if you walk away and come back, I will not be the same as when you first glanced. I may look like I& #39;ve not changed, but the water is new, and the current can shift.
