Ever have one of those dreams where you feel awful and despondent and destroyed? I had one of those last night and waking up did not seem to help?? I will do a few #classiccountdown songs now (July 25th 1981)

40 GIVE IT TO ME BABY –•– Rick James. Imagine someone listening to a Rick James song and then saying "wow, I can't believe he was a cocaine-fueled sex monster??" CFSM ANTHEM [those horns ]

39 FEELS SO RIGHT –•– Alabama

38 STRONGER THAN BEFORE –•– Carole Bayer Sager. She absolutely kills this ligh- as-air adult contemporary jam, but put some Prince falsetto on this and underwear would be shooting onstage out of a panty cannon

37 ROCK AND ROLL DREAMS COME THROUGH –•– Jim Steinman (with Rory Dodd). Voice isn't bad, but he made name writing baroque cheese lava bangers for Meatloaf, Air Supply, Bonnie Tyler (and produced some Sisters of Mercy no lie!) so this is like a rejected demo for one of those

36 SUKIYAKI –•– A Taste Of Honey. The video for this has an unexpected twist, the fondue pot tips over and the bearskin rug lights on fire, and then all the masters for this are consumed and I never listen to it again INCEPTION (2010) (Haven't seen it)

35 I LOVE YOU –•– The Climax Blues Band. I can't even pretend this is a song I would sing to a Choco Taco (I would) but I actually love this song and I don't want to make jokes about it. I LOVE THIS CLIMAX BLUES BAND SONG I absolutely will be taking no questions

[countdown on pause]

34 COOL LOVE –•– Pablo Cruise. This is the audio version of a Newport 100s ad

33 DOUBLE DUTCH BUS –•– Frankie Smith dizzouble dizzutch dizzouble dizzutch JAMMMMMMM

32 AMERICA –•– Neil Diamond. Stephen Miller claps his hands over his baby's ears "oh no they won't" and a bell rings in the Garbage Person Society Headquarters, Andrew Sullivan yelling "take a memo!"

31 WINNING –•– Santana. Santana borrowing some rando vocalist to soundtrack @shrewshrew dropping $100 at sushi [frictionless Latin guitar noodling]

30 THIS LITTLE GIRL –•– Gary U.S. Bonds. I had a joke about this song, but it was a Bruce Springsteen C-side

29 THE BREAKUP SONG (They Don’t Write ‘Em) –•– The Greg Kihn Band. I had a joke about this song but it was ah ah aw aw aw aw aw ah *floating ball from Phantasm cuts my head off*

(Haven't seen it)

28 IN THE AIR TONIGHT –•– Phil Collins Laser Phil Collins was just this song for an hour PLANETARIUM LIFE

[When this song comes on in the car it feels like this]

[but it is ACTUALLY LIKE THIS]

27 URGENT –•– Foreigner. Epic skronk sax ode to Lou Gramm's ne-[DIRECTOR YELLS "CUT CUT CUT"]
Me:?
Director: Where is this going? We need a straight PG rating on this countdown.
Me: I'll be in my dressing room

26 DON’T LET HIM GO –•– REO Speedwagon. Kevin Cronin writing this song for someone and then going UGH NO, I'M HIM, ughhghghghg this really came back to bite me gdi gdi, very angrily writes "Take It On the Run", sits on a giant pile of unsatisfying money

25 LADY (You Bring Me Up) –•– The Commodores. Oh, did somebody say Commodore Jack Aubrey?
Me: In this thread, I will clap a stopper on your infernal capers
You: What the absolute crunch is going on
Me: Would you believe a backdoor "no scrubs" joke?

24 ENDLESS LOVE –•– Diana Ross and Lionel Richie. I have a soft spot for cheesy duets and by soft spot I mean I saw "awww" when I change the station