I'm fascinated by what Bible stories medieval artists DON'T depict. Like the Philistines crafting golden hemorrhoids to appease God or David bringing Saul 200 Philistine foreskins as Saul asked, in order to marry Saul's daughter. (Morgan, M.638, f. 29v) #MedievalTwitter 1/7

Even when the David story is depicted, as in this Crusader Bible, they refuse to show the foreskins. David and Saul meet, reach an agreement, David goes to kill a bunch of Philistines, and return with their....heads.

(Morgan Library, MS M.638, f. 30r) 2/7

What's weird is that the text on the page clearly states Saul asked for 100 foreskins & David brought him 200.

I sort of wonder if some of the visual iconography (David's gloves, the "heads"), rather than being modesty, is meant to evoke the foreskin theme without depicting it.

ANYWAY, I would love to see any examples of this story or the Philistine hemorrhoid story actually being depicted in medieval art, if you know of them. There's lots of depictions of the plague of mice but none of the plague of hemorrhoids that I've found.

(Morgan, M.638 f. 21v)

I *did* discover some modern variations on these stories, including this incredible meme.

Also two VERY ALARMING images from children's bibles, which are on the next tweet [TW: ....foreskins and blood, I mean, as you might expect] 5/7

So much to unpack in this image. 6/7

Honestly, Raiders of the Lost Ark would be a lot different with the Ark cursing everyone with hemorrhoids.

Anyway, it's a Little Weird that children's bibles are depicting stuff medieval artists usually wouldn't. 7/7