Adopters listen. I am a transracial adoptee and that has its own issues but every time you infer that somehow something went wrong in my adoption to damage me you condescend. You insult me and you insult my parents... All 4 of them.

I have always known I was adopted because of my race, it is very difficult to explain away. My afolks never shyed away from difficult conversations and whatever information they had, I had.

Because of that I always knew my bmum would of kept me if she hadn't been 18,unmarried and alone. I also know from finding her family that she never got over the trauma of relinquishing me just as I will never get over the trauma of being relinquished.

I went to my first therapist aged 13, I was so angry and depressed and disengaged with education. I was bullied because I was the only POC in a school of 900. School life was a nightmare I hated it and I have never felt so alone in my entire life.
#transracialadoptee

When I was 19 seeking a sense of family I joined the army. That was a mistake but I did meet other adoptees and transracial ones at that, it blew my mind, our experiences were so similar, those shared experiences brought us together, I will always value their friendship.

The wheels started coming off when I was in the army, I was drinking too much, getting into trouble for the silliest things. I was on self destruct. No one could get through to me and at the first opportunity I was gone, I think at 3yrs I had served 2yrs too many

Within 6 months of coming out of the army I had a complete nervous breakdown complete with suicide attempts and self harm. Finally sectioned for my own safety. It took me 2yrs to recover from that one, all the time being asked for my medical history and having none to give

Throughout all of this I had my afolks. We didn't fall out, they supported me, visited me and behaved like any other worried parent.

And here's my point, through all of that, and everything that's happened since my afolks have been there. They were the first people to meet my daughter, my mum was with me for the birth of my son and after I found my siblings my folks were with me supporting me through that.

So when you say 'your adoption might of been traumatic but don't judge everyone elses' my adoption perse wasn't traumatic, the trauma was there already. I love my parents dearly and yes they made mistakes, I've made mistakes with my own kids but, and here's the thing

They aren't all over twitter and Facebook garnering support. They listen without judgement to my views, they don't gaslight or tone police, they don't make assumptions or talk across me. So what gives you the right? Just shut up and listen for once
#adoptee
#adopteevoices