This sometimes pops up in the context of other things, but yes, there was originally a sex scene in QUEEN. I cut it in favour of showing Xania, as demi, becoming comfortable in the lead up to it happening.

It was also one of my most career strategic decisions.

Thread

While I moved around and rewrote a lot of things in QUEEN, I wrote the sex scene to keep the emotional thread between Lia and Xania consistent, but there was always a question over whether it would stay.

QUEEN also straddles the YA/adult line, which doesn’t help.

It was never a super explicit scene, for the record, mostly just everything happening in the context of feelings and trust etc, but if QUEEN sold as YA, one thing always gave me pause: getting it into school libraries.

Now: there are amazing school libraries and librarians out there. I can only speak of what I’ve heard in an Irish context. But I knew getting a f/f YA book into libraries would be difficult if there was also a sex scene in there.

I spent a lot of time chewing over what to do.

This is combated by a lot of schools in Ireland still being under Church control, and that mindset trickles down.

It would never be overt homophobia. The book would just never be bought, and I’d never know.

(Again: not all librarians.)

I finally decided it was better to give QUEEN the best chance, and cut it out. But there were other things I could quietly work into the narrative:

1) show that both characters wanted it (especially Xania, as demi)

2) Afterwards, show they both enjoyed and didn’t regret it

3) have neither shamed nor punished for having sex

This was especially important, considering the good old historical staple of queer characters meeting tragic ends after any of the above happening.

That scene is the only bit of the book that no one else has ever read. I don’t regret cutting it, but it’s a situation I wish I hadn’t had to be so strategic about.

Of course, the biggest irony is that with Covid, QUEEN getting into school libraries is now a moot point.